That time I rowed on the river Thames (no really, I did)

About ten thousand years ago, I found myself eight seat or cox in a shell on White Rock Lake. I found a sport I could throw myself into wholly and completely. I could lose myself on the water. I could force a group of 8 girls to take the long way back because I wanted to look at the big houses--they loved when I coxed, for obvious reasons (they showed their love by dunking me in the lake once) (it's gross).

I love rowing. Crew. Whatever.  It saved my life. It's something that is so incredibly painful, so much work, so much TIME, but oh so worth it. It's clarity and water, and friendship and heaven and everything perfect. It's something you won't ever "get" until you've done it.

I will proudly say "I rowed crew in college", but, it doesn't mean anything to anyone. Until it does. Until you meet someone who looks at you and says "So did I! What seat were you?" and you discuss the early mornings, and the blisters, and the bruises, and the unis and the catch, and the oars and you can talk about it forever because once it's a part of you, it never leaves.

Ya know, just rowers on the Thames. WHY NOT

That happened to me twice this summer. I had a client at pure barre who rows and we would talk about it endlessly. She invited me to come out with her, which I couldn't do because of timing, but, it got me thinking.

Then, I met someone who shook me to my core and who, like me, rowed crew in college. Who, we figured out, was even at some of the same regattas and heads as I had been all those years ago! SERIOUSLY.

For example, we were both at this race. And we both hated it. 

I moved to London, where, obviously, preppy white people sports abound and I decided I would try my hand on the water again. I told a special someone about it, as I was so excited about the possibility, so was he, saying: "This is so awesome, I'd love to see you row!" which melted my heart.

I got the news I was two seat the following day and immediately texted, and then once it was over, I couldn't wait to get home to tell him all about it. Because he gets it. And thus, gets me. (we legit talked about it until 2am my time--nerdy rowers are nerdy)

Catching the early morning train from Waterloo to the boathouse. Oof. 

This weekend was one of the best in my life. I sat in a shell, rowed by some of the most talented, brilliant, dedicated women I've ever met--who all attend King's College London, and we rowed for two hours on the Thames. It was, honestly, a dream come true. A dream I never thought I'd have again. Sure, my rhythm is off and my catch was miserable, but, it felt amazing. My body knew what to do when my brain could get out of the way.

My body hurts like it hasn't hurt in ages, and I love it. I feel so lucky. Lucky to be hurting, lucky that my darling Molly is finally here, lucky for technology that allowed the two most important people in my life to meet from 5,000 miles away (yay Skype!). But, this weekend, I felt myself again. I felt what I did ten years ago, the first time I launched off and the first time I fell in love.

I want to steal and oar and blade and hang it in my house. But, noooooo, I'm ethical and honest or whatever. 

Love is a tricky thing, and, I'm lucky to have found it again.

"only a rower knows the feeling"

The happenings in Hampstead

So, I've been here almost a week and I'm getting settled. My internet is supposed to get set up tomorrow and I will kill someone if it doesn't. Super spotty internet I've hijacked from my neighbor is NOT cutting it for FaceTime dates or ability to watch Big Bang on Amazon. Which, seriously, priorities people. I miss my nightly dose of Sheldon Cooper like you would not believe!

But, I'm surviving. I miss my puppies, my people and my large Diet Coke, for the love!

So, until I can get a printer and connect my camera to the computer, and really show you, here's a brief look at what I've been up to....

This is my block, so, if you want to ever be a creeper, just look for the ugliest building in NW London. The inside is fabulous, I promise!

I literally told my agent "no" straight away. But, I love it now. 

I've been goofing around and acting like a tourist on the Piccailly line. If you can't do it there, where can you?!

Going to see this show in October, very excited!

I take pictures of otters for my bffffff That Pink Girl 

Shawn and Gus forever (inside joke)

I hang out here pretty regularly. NBG, just, King's College. Gulp. 

 The seal of the place just ranked #14 in the WORLD for graduate arts. Um, do they know I'm an idiot?

No pressure. 

And then to calm myself down, I think "ohhhh, let's walk along the Thames to Big Ben". Which, I do, but want to stab myself because all.the.tourists.

But, it's a nice day, so, I take pictures and text them to everyone I know.

"Ben says hi"

And I miss my puppies. And then this is happening at Somerset House. I don't even care about the art, I just want to steal the poster. IT'S A FRENCHIE!!!

I want to squish its face!

It's cold here, and I planned to have my coats sent because it's not usually THIS chilly here, but, I froze the other night, so, naturally I had to head into town for some shopping. Also, Kate Spade is drunk. 598 POUNDS for a coat. A basic black peacoat. No. That's like legit $1,000. No. 

So, because that's ridiculous and I'm not that desperate, and I was missing a certain guy, I had to stop and say hello to the other Ted in my life, Mr. Baker. 

He never disappoints. 

I was feeling especially lonely yesterday, so, to cheer myself up, I impulse bought some theatre tickets. 

Living here is really going to make me broke. I hadn't eaten a proper meal until I decided to cook ravioli in my tea kettle last night--let me tell you, that didn't end well. (seriously think I burned off my fingerprints)

Anyways. Food has taken a backseat to theatre and pub-ery. So, I'll be broke, but, skinny. Hello, giant win!

Once. My favorite. 

I ugly cried for a few hours during the show, then called BFF Amanda (Ro) as I walked down Charing Cross (I was trying to use up time rather than take a taxi home even though my feet were killing me). It was nice to hear her voice and we laughed about how crazy it is that she was heading into work and I am halfway round the world and we're just talking like we always do. 

I got off the tube here around 11pm

Home sweet Hampstead

And then walked home the half mile to this.... 

Yes, yes, don't worry guys, we'll go to the zebra crossing and be The Beatles when you come visit

I got to talk to my old boss for a bit and we laughed about the ridiculousness of pure barre Arlington--which, London, Y U NO have barre classes? Gah, these fools need me! Anywhoodle, I chatted with Shawn for a bit, god I miss that woman--I miss my job! It was nice to feel connected to her again. I can't wait to get back home next summer and start our new studio adventures!

And then, after a whirlwind day of job interviews and travel, a certain someone hopped online to FaceTime me and I got to help my best guy cook dinner. 

It was just like being at home. Only it was 2am for me. And I was still dressed from the theatre. (sidenote, that necklace he's wearing? A St. Christopher I gave him at the airport. He hasn't taken it off. Seriously. I died)

Tonight I'm taking one of my new friends--yes, I found the only other kid from Montana in the whole of the UK--to see Phantom, and then hopefully will get to talk to my peoples in Dallas when I get back to my flat....A long weekend in October and holiday break in December....we might just make it. I might just survive. 

And to think, we were all so sure I'd fall in love with a Brit and stay here forever. Well played, Universe, well freaking played. 

So, that's what I've been up to here in Hampstead! What are y'all doing? How's life? What's a Target like? What's going on at home? Please tell me y'all are eating all the junk food and all the real Diet Coke because this shit they are trying to pass off as Diet Coke is soooooo not.

(yes, it's been a week and I miss Target. I've vacationed here longer, but, this time it just feels different)

xoxox

I promised you pictures (going away party, part dos)

I'm attempting to get settled here in Hampstead, which is harder than I thought it would be (I blame all the people in the photos below who've made my life in Dallas so amazing). I have internet which I'm jacking from my neighbor and rarely works, I have no phone and no bank account. My Brits are all on holiday in the States and Molly isn't here yet. So, I'm very wallow-y. But, it's ok. Mostly because after I write this I'm going to Regent Street to say hi to the other man in my life (Ted Baker) and hang out at Anthro. Cures all. 

Anywhoodle, let's discuss the Best Night Ever--other than the nights I met Michael Crawford (I still can't even) or Hugh Jackman. Obviously. 

BFF Ren came over and helped me get ready--I had three dress options. I had the one below custom made but it was a little shorter than I wanted so I was scared to look too Ballerina Barbie rather than Carrie Bradshaw. We were going for the latter. 

But, she told me it was fabulous and that everyone coming knows I an a ballerina princess, so, just wear the damn dress. 

I did.

And we played picture time in the tub. 

Happened. 

It was a night filled with laughter. Belly hurting laughter. And I loved it.

My amazing soul sister, Soleil and I cutting up. She's truly a beautiful, beautiful friend. 

My gal Chelsea came all the way from Fort Worth to celebrate with me. I love her oh so much!

Chels just got hired at pure barre and I'm so excited because when I get back she will take over for me when D and I look into opening another space! 

This picture makes me insanely happy. TPG is my other half. The only person in my life who "gets" it. All of it.

Hamster love. Since 2009. Please note the awesome news caption behind us. Sure.

And then sometimes you look like an idiot. For no particular reason.

I honestly have no no idea. 

My sweet fellow SMU alum and soon to be published author(!) friend Rachel came and I got to introduce her to newbie Dallasite Kristen--I'm super jealous these two are going to hang out without me!

Idiots. Love it. Love them more. 

My folks came--which was only mildly stressful (understatement), but, I'm so glad they did. And look at my sister's super chic bangs!! She's such a grown up!

Me and the mini sis. 

I've already waxed poetic about Amanda more than I ever thought possible, but, man alive. This girl. My heart. My salvation. Literally. 

This is the least flatter ing photo EVER, but, I think it shows how much I adore her. (UGH, MY ARMS)

Leaving her on Wednesday almost broke me. I cried so hard when we repeated this moment at my front door.

True love. 

The party started to wind down and only the truly loyal remained....

T, Hayley, BFF Ren, Amanda, Chels. T's face is all "ummmm I'm stuck with a bunch of girls. FML"

All the ladies!

Then we headed across the street to The Dubliner where more shenanigans ensued.

Like this.

About sums it up. 

I have no idea what was happening here, but, it's hilarious.

Dear god. I should've done some tricep dips!

BFF-ery.

Alright.

So somehow R and T decided sticking a pint of Guinness down my dress was a good idea. And then they took turns holding up my dress (obviously, the pint was bigger than my boobs. I quit) and hysterical laughter ensued. There are several pictures and the one on R's phone is my absolute favorite, but, our faces in this--and of course, my double chin--is kind of awesome.

R showing off a boob, me giving the thumbs up and T being a gentleman and holding up my dress. Or, just attempting to grab a boob. Probably the latter. 

And then we shut The Dubliner down, because it's what we do, so, we headed to The Lake House for the best hotdog ever.

My favorite gals!

Ally sandwich! 

I don't have many from The Lake House because we went there for hot dogs and the kitchen closed at 11am--it was like 1:15 at this point. But, it was a nice quiet way to end the night and have final moments with those I love.

But, this happened. 

And so did this. 

 So, there you have. The night I wish I could relive. The happiness and the sadness is all out there. Despite missing these people--and my pups (don't even) like crazy, I know it's all going to be ok.

After all, God wouldn't give me those moments of happiness, those people who mean so much, who've blessed me in so many ways--I wouldn't finally have that, just to have it ripped out from under me. Right? RIGHT?!

Here's hoping.

Shabbs, out!

(if you need me, I'll be on Regent Street, buying all the things. Throwing money at my feelings always helps!)

Adios, Dallas

This past weekend was my going away party. 

It was perfect. I only cried a few times, which, lesbihonest is a world record. I thought I would just sob the entire time. Thank you to all who made it a perfect night, a perfect time with those that I love and a perfect farewell to Dallas.

I couldn't ask for better people in my life, and I am so blessed to have so many take time out of their lives to see me.

Naturally, we celebrated at The Londoner, a local pub here in town where we had the entire top floor to ourselves and then the night progressed to The Dubliner (I know) and we shut down The Lake House at last call. My abs still hurt from laughing and I'm living in a mac and cheese and bacon hangover--which, is there a better kind? Nope!

Without further ado, here are a few of my selected faves--also, major props to BFF Ren for lending her photography skills to the evening. I wasn't supposed to look at these until I got on the plane, I know she will kill me for this, but, these are some of the happiest pictures of my life, so, I had to look. And honestly, I've never been happier, so I couldn't wait to share them. Thank you, babe!

It's always important to dress like a jackass at your own party....

I wore a giant tutu. I ain't even ashamed. 

Strike a pose 

With my pure barre girls--ignore mosquito bite white trash legs there!

Remember how I said I held it together? Well, when this girl showed up, I lost it. My hamster. 

TPG and The Cyclist came even though she's been super sick. That's true love!

And of course, nothing is complete without my parents acting like goofs!

Me and my pops 

My absolute favorite person on earth. My BFF, Ren. I love you more than anything. She gave me a brilliant party! 

I kind of love this picture. My best guy. 

And then, I sobbed for a good 20 minutes after this was taken:

My heart and soul. My rock, my salvation, my biggest cheerleader. 

I have tons more I could show you, and will. Funny stories that involve bacon and brie, the hot dog that wasn't and of course, Guinness, a straw and my boobs apparently. But, for now, I'm keeping those moments to myself until I am ready to stop crying and start laughing.

Not yet. I'm still too scared to leave these amazing people and memories.

Maybe on Friday when I wake up in my new flat on Abbey Road. Just, maybe....

xoxo

Did ya miss me?!

The last few weeks have been great. Emotional, stressful, exhausting, and great.

I'm really trying to soak in all I can about Dallas and time with friends and things I won't get to do, see or eat for the next 9-12 months.

It's been emotional--I cry a lot more than I expected I would--I mean, I'm a crier in general, but, the reality of leaving my Texas family? Boy howdy. I can't even.

Sorry to have left you hanging--but, I mean, you did get pictures of the puplet so, you can't be too angry with me. I hope.

I've been keeping busy trying to enjoy my last few weeks in Dallas,  and this is what it's looked like:

Breaking down and seeing Book of Mormon when the tour came to town

I liked it--not loved it. I just wanted to see Mark to be entirely honest

Moneypenny learning to stick her tongue out for a laugh

She's already disobeying me like a boss!

Spending an evening chatting with someone about college crew and growing up at the beach--like me!

Pubs in Deep Ellum, a large Diet Coke and lots of laughs about NCAA rules 

Having my very best friend and her girls at my last pure barre class

Looks at these loves!!

Learning to walk three dogs on a leash--London preparations!

Hell, basically 

Being introduced to "southern metal" at a concert in Deep Ellum. Where we discovered I have excellent hair for head banging.

I didn't die! Let's all be proud! And, to everyone's surprise, I had FUN!

Dates with this dude

We laugh. A lot. 

Getting a pitiful puppy unstuck--regular occerance these days

Evidently, she wants to escape. Brat. 

And, basically, not packing any of my clothing because, well, packing is stupid.

So, that's where I've been and probably what I'll be up to until I get on the plane next week (sob, sob, sob!), but, I have my going away party this weekend, and I pinky promise pictures of that! read: my parents are crashing it. Send help!