Yipee Skippy! I jump for joy!

I didn't let onto this on the blog, but a few months ago, my stepmom was having trouble breathing and she went in for a checkup and the doctors found some blockages around heart and an unknown mass in her lung. Of course they did.

Cue me freaking out because a) I've already lost one mother, and if I lose two, I honestly will go insane b) um, if my dad loses his wife, there's a good chance he'd pack up my sister and move in with us, and c) well, crap, we just don't need any of this right now.

Luckily, the blockages were nothing and that is A-OK. The mass in her lung was what gave them concern.

My stepmom has never smoked, never been around smokers and lived a healthy life--heck, this is the woman who would join me for 4AM workout sessions when I had 6:45AM classes! So, seriously, lung cancer, are you kidding me?

They'd run every test in the book and every time they said "well, we'll need to do another test to rule out cancer". So, they made arrangements to get tested at some state of the art place in Santa Barbara and we all waited around on pins and needles. My family was stressed--my stepmom was down in spirits (also, they had to put her beloved cat down a few weeks ago).

But, last night, my dad told us that the results of the biopsy are back: not cancerous! Just some weird mass--which is still weird, but, not going to hurt her.

Her breathing is better and everything seems to be A-OK. Which is fabulous because we were really scared that we'd spend the holidays doing chemo--which of course, is fine, but, honestly was scared to death that my stepmom had cancer.

Also, yesterday morning on my run, I saw a shooting star. That's gotta be a good sign, right?

I still have sausage legs. Which is why my 9 mile tempo run did not happen this morning and why I am now sucking down a Diet Coke.

I'll do a short run after work and hopefully get in my tempo run tomorrow AM.

I don't want to push the sausages.

But, the sausage legs don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. My stepmom is healthy. And if sausage legs are the biggest medical concern we have right now, that's fine with me (even if they are freaking annoying).

Happy Wednesday!

(and thank you to all our Veterans--I'm eternally grateful)

And, Happy Birthday to Erin @ BlueEyedBride--I hope it's a fabulous day--you deserve the best!

Sausages! Sausages! Sausages!

First of all, thank you everyone for such wonderful and supportive comments on my post yesterday. I didn't know a birthday was going to hit me so hard--but, alas, it did, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support, the advice, the encouragement--it truly means so much to me. Thank you. Really, really, thank you. I am so grateful for all of you.

In other news...Yesterday afternoon, I noticed that my feet were oddly puffy. My right ankle sometimes gets swollen after a long run, but, this was both feet, and not just the ankle, but, the entire foot--as in, the buckle on my shoes was on the loosest clasp, and there was still an indentation. Weirdest thing ever.

The swelling got worse and when I got home from class last night, I had full on cankles.

This morning, I went for a hilly 4 mile run (awesome!) and let me tell you, running with sausage feet is freaking hard! Every step made them feel like they would explode and they felt like they weighed 500 pounds. Only to come home, take a shower and get dressed, realizing that my entire lower body is puffy! My legs are totally 100% swollen. Thighs, calves, feet--the whole nine. I've never experienced anything like this ever in my life. And it's painful! I have sausage legs. My poor little leggies and feet are just stuffed into my skin like sad little (er, big?) sausages.

I have no idea. I'm drinking my normal amount of water (which is a lot), haven't been pounding the Diet Coke (I know, shocking), haven't eaten anything out of the ordinary--no new meds or anything. Weirdest thing.Ever!

Has anyone ever had this happen before? Any ideas on what I can do? I couldn't even shove my feet into my largest flat shoes today!

I mean, it is hilarious, because, of course, I would just randomly balloon up, but, um, seriously, not cool.

I look like the damn Michelin Man. No joke.

And no, there will be no pictures, you'll just have to take my word for it. My lower half? Sausages.

I don't even like sausages.

Sad little plea: help. :)

Unprepared

(warning! warning! warning! possible honesty and emotional overshare. warning!)

So, as y'all know, it's birthday month (which, um, yeah, I haven't done crap to celebrate said birthday month other than my awesome half marathon--hmph, not cool), and soon enough, it will be marathon week (next week!) and then birthday week (um, the week after that). And then because I really am a child, birthday week shall extend into early December, 'cause that's when I can have my actual fun birthday dinner that will not take place at some shanty in Middle of Nowhere, Arizona. Just sayin'.

But, to this end, I'm feeling wildly unprepared for my upcoming birthday. And before I launch into my little schpeel here, let me clarify, that I am fully aware that I am young and have years ahead of me (hopefully)--fully aware. K. Thanks.

It's my 25th. On the 25th. Which, in and of itself is a big deal as far as I'm concerned.

However, I have fallen short on the list of things I wanted to do by my 25th. Yes, I've done a lot of things (changed legislation! bought a house! graduated college! started graduate classes!)--so, I'm not belittling that at all, but, I must admit that I was and still am completely unprepared for the emotions that would flood me as I reflect on my upcoming birthday.

2009 has been tough. We lost our sweet sheltie girl, Hanna. We lost dear family friends. I've battled a mystery illness which keeps me up most nights and has caused me to wage a never ending battle with my weight (considering I'd managed to lose 10 lbs from January-June--then August just ruined it all) which of course has led to depression--and well, we don't really need to go into that.... Yeah, 2009? Hard. We're fortunate enough that I have a job, but, my husband, who graduated top of his class, with honors, with awesome work experience, still does not. Thus, all the fun things we wanted to do to our home, we cannot, as we cannot afford them. We aren't any closer to having children than we were one year ago, which makes me sad, and I haven't made it to Italy yet. This is the real crime.

I look at so many of my friends who have gorgeous houses, graduate degrees, good jobs--and are my age, or just a smidge older and it can be hard. Who am I kidding, it is hard. There, I said it. And yes, it can be hard to be grateful for what I do have, because I know that really, it is a lot. I am a very blessed little lady. No denying that. And I am grateful.

Problem is, each year, I set goals (this problem also arises around December 31st), and I achieve none of them. Doesn't fail. No matter how simple (paint upstairs bath, anyone? How hard is that, really? I can promise you it won't be done by December 31st, 2009 as I said I would last year), I cannot accomplish them for whatever reason. Sure, things happen, money goes elsewhere, things pop up, life happens. Sure. But, why, oh why is it so hard for me to stick to things (like writing my book, for example)? I have no idea.

But, I do know this: I know that on Saturday, I completed yet another 20(.3) mile run. I ran my little heart out for 20 miles (well, the first 6 sucked, but, I found an Oreo at our water stop and I kid you not, it was like angels sang down from heaven and everything after that totally kicked butt. Note to self, have husband post up at mile 6 and 20 with Oreos). I finished strong, with my last mile being my fastest (was I just dying to be finished? I'll never know for sure). I felt freaking awesome (I can walk today!).

I know that God blessed with me with a body that can run 20 miles. And that will run 26.2 miles in less than two weeks (gulp). I know that one year ago, the thought of running 6 miles made me want to crawl under a rock. I know that I've gained some weight, my butt is freaking huge, my legs are chubby and my love handles are out of control, but, I can run 20 miles. I don't really know what all this means, but, I'm really trying to make myself feel better since I was told by a certain work colleague that I'd love marathon training because I'd be in the best shape of my life. I beg to differ, because I looked way better in May, but, whatevs (slightly bitter, what can I say, at least I'm honest).

I know that for once, I will have completed a goal. A milestone. A finish.

It's not what I set out to do on my 24th birthday, or even on December 31, 2008, but, it's what I set out to do and I'm doing it.

I don't think I've ever been so giddily excited over anything. Seriously. This is right up there with my wedding day (which was really a blur, and I'd like to watch the video of it sometime because I remember exactly .5% of the entire day).

I can't believe that almost another year has gone by. I can't believe that I haven't achieved nearly anything that I wanted to by this time, nor can I believe that in 13 days, I will run a marathon. I can't believe that I have completed two half marathons, two 15ks, and two 10k races this year. Never in a million years.

Sometimes things don't work out.

But, sometimes they do.

Sometimes, you find yourself in the most unexpected places.

Like in a pair of hot pink running shoes (which are sadly going to be laid to rest on November 23rd, 2009 as they have served their purpose--and considering I recently lost one of two remaining toenails, am pretty sure I should have retired them in October--oh well).

You just never know.

Obviously, Texas didn't get the 'fall weather' memo

Seriously! Only in Texas is it November 5th, and there are girls out sunbathing at the gym. It's November 5th! I understand that it's 77 out, really, I do, because I'm regretting bringing my jacket to the office because I'm schlepping it around--so, no, I understand that it's mighty warm.

But really.

Must we sunbathe? (and don't get me started on the skin cancer yuckies, because I will) And, to that note, how much of a tan can you really get in November on this side of the equator, cause, I'm thinkin', not very much. Anyone know? Maybe I should conduct a focus group.

To that end, it's November, and I'm thisclose to popping some Christmas music into my computer whilst data monkeying away this afternoon.

After all, it's only 49 (via SantaClaus.com) days until Christmas. Yes, I Googled it.

I'm awful merry this year--this is strange. I'm never merry. In fact, I'm rather Grinchy. This is odd. I'm a bit worried.

Hm. Take advantage of this while you can, my dears, who knows how long it will last!

Either way, I'm listening to Christmas music.

At least it's not August.

Thoughts?

P.S. I ran 5.5 miles at lunch. Whoot!

Losing the Chub = Goals

OK, my necklace is sold out in the color I want, so, pfmph! I am now dramatically crossing my arms over my chest like an angry child.

But, I suppose this is a good thing. I don't really need to be spending $$ right now--especially thanks to Ella's $700 vet bill. And you know, the holidays and all. I have no gift giving ideas--I'm usually an awesome gift giver--this year, I've got no ideas.

Anyways, I have a point, I swear.

See, I have about 5 million things that I want to put on my Birthday/Christmas list, and most are pretty basic: new black cardigan since I have worn mine to shreds, a yummy wrap sweater for yoga, shoes, etc, etc. All of these things I could buy for myself. I should really use my list to ask for things that are a wee bit out there--like a new camera ::makes grabby hands:: I need a new camera like nobodies business. Are you reading this dad and step-mom?

So, because I still want to lose 5 lbs in the next few weeks (lofty? yes. reasonable? possibly.), I've decided that instead of asking for a yummy sweater or anything else like that, I will purchase said sweater/shoes/necklace only if I make my goal weight by marathon day.

This is annoying because a) there's a good chance everything will be sold out by then--but, beneficial, because if everything is out of stock, I'll save $$ and b) I'm kind of an instant gratification kind of gal. I don't like to wait. Also, this is why my slow cooker annoys me.

I think I can do it. I haven't gained since last week, which is wildly impressive considering I ate us out of house and home on Sunday and didn't run but once last week before the race.

And, I ran 8.5 miles of intervals/tempo this AM. Totally awesome. Was supposed to be 9 miles, but, I thought I had an early meeting and was short on time--of course, I was wrong about the meeting--but, I still got in 8.5 miles. This is like a record--do you know how long it's been since I've managed an 8 miler before work? Months!

Hopefully, the pounds will just run away (hardy har har).

And then I can resume my shopping habits just in time for the holiday rush.

Anybody else ever set any goals like this? Did/does it work?

Over the weekend...

I ate too much candy--but not as much as last year!

Tortured my dogs (don't call the SPCA on me, the whole doggie dress up lasted less than 1 minute)....
Including cross dressing Butch for exactly 45 seconds (doesn't he look thrilled?)...

Carb loaded on some fabulous pumpkin bread made and delivered by BFF, C and daughter Z.
Ran a super fun Half Marathon (you can read the recap here)

Baked some cookies (post 13.1 miles)....

And had a lovely dinner with one of my favorite people and her sweet family.

What a fantastic way to start Birthday Month!!

Yes, that's right, it's November.

It's Marathon and Birthday month. But, it's not just me who will be celebrating, BlueEyedBride has a birthday coming up, as does Mrs. Mojito and Sam's birthday is my marathon day. Any November babies that I'm missing?

Looks like November will be a busy month.

Hope your weekend was just as fun!

DRC Half Race Recap

Whoot! Another half marathon down--the full is in three weeks. Three weeks ::has panic attack::.

OK, now that I have cleared that up....

I'll have pictures tomorrow, hopefully, but, I wanted to get this all out before I forget, because, well, let's be honest, it's me. 90% of the time, I can't remember my own phone number...I take after my mother in that regard. It's as if I have blonde roots or somethin', I tell ya.

Anyways!

Went to bed rather late for pre-race on Saturday, but, the extra hour of sleep sure did help--I wasn't really tired at all that morning (bonus!). The hubs and I managed to get out of the house quickly and got to the race site plenty early. It was frrrrrrrrrreeeezzzziinnngggg. And of course, this all takes place by the lake, so, it's all very shady, so, standing in the sun to warm up was not an option.

I felt good, and ready to kick some half marathon booty. I lined up with a certain pace group and was ready to rock it. Now, let me just explain to you how this pace group worked, or, in this case, did not work. Given, I have never been a pacer, and I would probably suck at it, so, I don't have a lot of room to talk, but, I would except the pace leaders to you know, be able to keep their pace under control. Well, let's just say, that didn't happen. I always try to start slowly as to not burn out--that's how I run the best, and how I finish the strongest--rather common sense, but, it's like I have to burn it into my teeny little brain or I will go all out and then suck it the rest of the race.

Yeah so. So. So! This pace leader started out waaaaay too fast and for the first three miles or so, we were running about 1:30 faster than the pace--um, yeah, I'm slow, let's get that clear--and you're asking me to run over a minute faster than the actual pace, and you want me to hang? Not going to happen. I can hang at the correct pace for 14+ miles--I know because I've done it on training runs before I figured that with the race adreniline, I could totally rock this pace for 13.1.

Funny. We lost them around mile 4 ish (I was trying to pace a friend of mine--it was his first half. I think it helped for him to run with me, although I'm sure he could have run faster, he'd never gone further than 10 miles and I didn't want him to burn out). This was slightly disheartening because I knew I would have been able to maintain the correct pace for the whole thing, but, since my leggies were already wondering what the crap was going on, I knew it would be rough go the rest of the way. I'm not trying to sound like I blame my lame performance on the pace leader, I totally don't--I should have tried to tone it down myself and been more aware of the fact that it was too fast and backed off. But, I'm stubborn and honestly, wanted to see how long I could do it. I never said I was the smartest person out there. I'm stubborn. This is not good in racing.

After I made peace with the fact that I was not going to finish with that group, I managed to keep us on a pretty consistent pace the rest of the way--however, because of the additional speed in the beginning, my stomach started acting up around mile 5, and I had to fuel then--which I did not enjoy, but, whatever, I needed it. The next few miles were hard and hilly, and I hate to admit, but, there were a few walk breaks (mainly because holy moly, I thought I was going to hurl). Luckily, no real IT pain!

We cheered once we reached the halfway point, and it was pretty much literally downhill from that point. We knew the course perfectly from this point and it was just about finishing.

I had gone through all my Shot Blocks by mile 11 and was starting to feel lethargic. I told myself 2 more miles--this is easy!

I wish I could say it was, but, it really wasn't. I started to get light headed and queasy, and my legs would just not turn over, no matter how hard I tried.

Then, around mile 12, it hit me. Heat exhaustion. Little rant: only in Texas, could it be freaking 40 degrees at the start of the race, and 75 degrees at the end. Seriously.

I've only gotten heat exhaustion one other time, and that was during a 4th of July Race in 90 degree Texas summer with hardly any water along the course.

I took water at all the stations, plus my fuel belt this time--I did not see this coming. I was not overly dressed either--capris and a dri fit top. I was frrreeezing for the first half of the race.

Anyways, I was getting the cold pricklys, and flushing insanely my vision started to get blurry. Worst.Feeling.Ever. I told my friend who I was running with and we stopped for a second so I could suck every little ounce of water out of my bottle and then we took off. We were going to finish strong.

And we did. The damn finish chute seemed to go on for days, but, we saw our spouses cheering us on and we crossed the finish line proudly.

And then I downed the most fabulous cold bottle of water ever. It took me a few minutes to get my bearings and I kind of wandered around like a lost duck for a few minutes. Heat exhaustion can kiss my bum. For real. I'm still honestly in shock that I managed to overheat myself on November 1st.

I didn't get the big PR I had hoped for, but, I shaved a few minutes off my time, and considering this course was substantially hillier than my previous half marathon course, I consider it a victory.

The leggies weren't hurting, and I was proud of myself.

Of course, now, my IT band is killing me and I'm literally gimping around like I have a peg leg (sure). Yes, I stretched, yes, yes, I did the foam roller--everything. I think my IT band just has it out for me. Bastard. Any advice??? I'm supposed to do 22 miles this Saturday--last looooong run before taper time. Yikes!!

Also, quick rant: so, the pace leader who I started with, yeah, my husband said he finished on pace, but, with none of his group with him--they were all trailing in like me. Which leads me to believe he slowed down towards the middle or the end to get back on pace. Not cool dude, not cool. I shouldn't rag on him, being a pace leader is tough, but, it really did bug me that he started out so fast, it was clear that I wasn't the only person who got burned out by him.

But, I finished. And, I PRed.

It was a great day.

(sorry, that was really long)

Race Weekend!

OK lovelies, it's going to be an awesome weekend.

Halloween + DRC Half Marathon + Fall Back (let's hope I manage to correctly set my alarm and not mess that one up on race day) + Sleep In Saturday ('cause no long run Saturday--race on Sunday!) = Happiness.

We don't get that many trick or treaters, which, I'm kind of bummed about, but, hopefully some of our friends will bring their kiddos over.

I also fully intend on dressing Ella Mae up and taking her over to see her beagle neighbor friend. Yes, my life revolves around my dogs. I don't have children yet, I have to occupy my mommy instincts somehow (since I don't teach anymore).

And then it's early to bed for a kick ass race day. Because it totally will be.

Now, I just need to track down that necklace, and finalize my race day outfit--this is very important my overall success--trust me. I'm ready to rock.

What are you doing, what are you dressing up as?

Happy Halloween!

Oh! And, sidenote, my running bestie is going to kick the NYC Marathon's booty this weekend. I'm so excited and so proud of her. It's her first, and I know it will be an awesome experience.

xoxox

Just call me Gumby

I finally went to yoga today (which I always type 'joga' the first time.... why do I do that?).

It's been a two-week hiatus, and one that I did not plan, but, no one wants to downward dog when their nose is dripping (cold from hell), or when they feel as if they might spontaneously pop at any given moment (mystery illness--and I imagine this is what that last month of pregnancy might feel like). Bleh.

So, I shelepped myself to yoga today and holy moly, am I glad I did. I was so sore and so tight, it's not even funny. Even my shoulders were tight! And I stretch after running, at night, in the morning--I'm a stretching machine--but, something about yoga just loosens me all up. I'm all bendy and jelly like right now--it's fabulous.

Ahhhh.....

I didn't even try to run today, which is a big improvement in my stubborn ass self. Yes, I'm still worried about being able to PR this weekend since I haven't pounded any pavement since Saturday, but, I ran my last half all gimptastic and it sucked. Even if I don't have any miles under my belt this week I'm thinking that just being pain free will be so amazing that I'll manage to keep a good pace--whereas last time I was dragging a$$ because my leg hurt so freaking bad. I like good, fun races in which I do not feel like death. I'm uber psyched about this one, so, I'm betting on "good".

I picked up my packet today at a local running store, and you know I can't be trusted in any kind of store for any period of time. Naturally, I found some new toys that I must.have.right.this.second (yes, I have a problem, yes, I'm fully aware of it. Lately, my budgeting ability has just gone down the drain).

A pair of compression/recovery socks which I am totally going to rock on Sunday because I'll be damned if my calf goes out again; a cute new patterned headband because we're determined for good race pictures and sweaty bangs stuck to my forehead (no matter how many bobby pins and hairspray!) do not make for good pictures; and of course, plenty of ShotBlocks, Nuun and SportBeans. Like a damn kid in a candy store, I kid you not.

Aren't you all going to be glad when this half is over and I cam stop blabbering about it? Ha, then you'll have to sit through me blabbering about the marathon.

Seriously, when did I become a runner? This is so crazy! (but I love it)