Musings & Monday

First, I must warn you, if it is at all any warmer in your neck of the woods (seriously, wherever you are) today than it should be, please, don't blame global warming--blame The Shabby Princess. I am burnt to a crisp (and yes, A, I did heed your warning and used sunblock!!), and am fairly certain that a) my legs glow in the dark, b) I am radiating heat, c) I look like I've actually been in nuclear fall-out and not Texas sun. So, there you have it--I am actually the cause of global warming. My apologies to the polar bears.

1. I need to hit the gym more often. Seriously. I want to start the next "school year" looking as good as I did when I was a first year (tall order, I'm aware).
2. I need to stop biting/picking at my nails! Yuck. (although, this does save money on manicures as I couldn't bring myself to have anyone paint this nonsense)
3. It's almost July. When did that happen?
4. Next week, we're heading back home to clean out my mom's house. I wasn't really worried until today. I'm not sure I can handle it. Wish me luck!
5. American will stop flying into my hometown airport very soon. This is no bueno for several reasons a) jobs lost, b) it will be much harder to go home (this means, flying to L.A or S.F. and driving 4+ hours.... in a rental car), c) it will be that much harder to get family to visit us--because they'll have to drive 4+ hours to the airport. Are you freaking serious, American? I mean really!
6. Hanna Butt doesn't seem to have lost any weight, even with a weekend at daycare and her new meds.... Come on girl, we'll drop the chunky together (too bad it's too hot for walks! Stupid ozone warning)
7. Butch Butt on the other hand, will not eat. My animals are so weird.
8. A lizard was on my car Friday morning and I nearly died. I hate lizards/snakes/all those creepy things. Ick!
9. Seriously, this Friday is July 4th. Seriously. I'm not joking.
10. I'm totally bright red right now, and it's wildly attractive. Next up: peeling! (gag me). I'm debating suing the sunscreen company....Kidding, I wouldn't....However, I would leave them some nasty messages...But...I won't.... Because I'm lazy. (S, I'm so sorry we're so crispy! We'll do better next time)
11. I e-mailed this lady about riding lessons last week, and haven't heard back. I'm annoyed. Partly because the novelty is now wearing off because I've realized that a) riding lessons are expensive, b) I don't think I have any boots that still fit, c) when will I have the time?, d) money. Seriously. But, in the event that she does reply, I'll suck it up, spend the money and get my booty back in the saddle. Literally. If only for a little while, since the husband said it's horses or kickboxing. Not both. And I don't really know how I can do that!
12. I'm really excited for our backyard BBQ this weekend!! Any excuse I have to play with kiddos in the pool and eat good ol' California BBQ, I am down. Which also means, running this week--and a lot of it.
13. I'm now, actually quite fond of Galveston. It's no Avila, Pismo or, dare I say, Poipu, but, I'll take what I can get. Until of course, we have the $$ to head to Sanibel or St. John....Until then, Galveston it is!
14. Did I mention I baked last night? I think we may have solved the "why I can't lose weight" mystery. I know, shocking. Why can't I love to cook granola and boring ol' salads? Right, because it's boring and no one gets excited about salads on Monday morning. They do however, respond to brownies.
15. Yay for 4 day work weeks!

I suppose that's all for now... Did everyone else have a good weekend?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to nom, nom, nom on some brownies...and Diet Coke...That makes it OK, right? Right....

Fun Shoes Friday!

(please ignore the hideous blurry aspect of this.... as my friend the photog says "blurry is the new artsy", so, ha, I'm artsy. Who knew?)

I took these ditties out to L's birthday party last weekend and they are makin' their way with me this weekend. Not really office shoes (which just hurt their little soles--ha, look, I'm quirky too), but, they do get to come out occasionally.

And when they do, it's always fabulous. You just can't have a frown on your face while wearing sparkly shoes.

Aren't they sweet?

Have a fun and safe weekend everyone--we're off to the beach!

ps. I'm also currently just giddy because I found out some fantastic news about my fantastic cousins!

Pop Quiz

1. Who believes that swimsuit shopping is a rare form of torture? (that said, can we please get John McCain on this, please?)
a. The size 00 high school senior.
b. The lady with 12 kids but looks like she's 18.
c. The Shabby Princess.

2. Who also believes that swimsuit sizes were created by some evil beings? i.e., let's size generously--none of this going up a size (Or 2! Heaven help us.) nonsense.
a. The crazy girl trying on the non-to0-flattering monokini.
b. The Shabby Princess.
c. Your mom.

3. Who, after a very frustrated tromp around the dressing room bought a stupid swimsuit and then treated herself to a cookie at Mrs. Fields?
a. The crazy lady you see at the mall with 500 bags and a giant soda, pretzel and to-go bag.
b. The Shabby Princess.
c. The bratty girl from your sisters boyfriends swim team.

4. Who quotes "Borat" when having a bad day?
a. Isla Fisher.
b. Sacha Baron Cohen.
c. The Shabby Princess.

5. Who believes that Jon & Kate Plus 8 Marathons make it all better?
a. The Shabby Princess.
b. Jon Gosselin.
c. Kate Gosselin.

6. Who seriously had a cookie for dinner?
a. Mrs. Fields.
b. That kid in CTR 6 who has a major sugar problem.
c. The Shabby Princess.

7. Who doesn't know what to do about the sad state of her (non existent) social life?
a. The Shabby Princess.
b. That lady in your knitting club.
c. Your grandmother.

8. Who is hoping to spontaneously drop 10 lbs in two days?
a. You.
b. Anyone on a wrestling team.
c. The Shabby Princess.

9. Who had to take a rather rotund doggie to the vet today (which was traumatic for both)?
a. The crazy lady who lives down the street with a million pets.
b. The Shabby Princess.
c. Rachael Ray.

10. Who is totally 100% petrified about the next few months of their life but has opted to swim through the craziness--even if it means calling the Coast Guard?
a. The Shabby Princess.
b. Crab fisherman on the Bering Sea.
c. The staff at Carnival Cruise lines.

11. Who is currently kind of obsessed with Discovery Channels "When We Left Earth: NASA Missions" and kind of wishing it was on right now?
a. The Shabby Princess.
b. Jim Lovell.
c. Gene Krantz.

12. Who is seriously debating making a hotdog for an after dinner snack?
a. Anyone at a baseball game.
b. Boys.
c. The Shabby Princess.

Correct Answers: All are "The Shabby Princess"

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Swimsuit shopping is for real evil. For real. And, also, someone needs to explain to me how a swimsuit tankini top can be $110? Seriously. Because that makes no sense to me. (don't worry, I didn't pay that much!)

Yes, I seriously did have myself a nice big chocolate chip cookie as a reward. Which is kind of the opposite of my whole trying to drop 10 lbs by Friday thing, but, we'll ignore that fact because after all, I did try on swimsuits in florescent lighting. That should at least negate those calories.

There's been a lot of "high fives" and "very nice, how much" around here today (my cousin taught me the Borat quotes, and, it makes me giggle--mainly because I'm picturing my cousin saying it--and she's hilarious). But, watching my beloved Gosselin children makes it that much better.

I really feel lonely lately. I'm at a weird place. I got married rather young, and, I work, The Shabby Princes is still in school, thus, we don't have kids. All of our married friends do--and I love them, and their kids, don't get me wrong, but, it's just different. Most of my college friends are single--which puts me at some awkward in-between place. I just don't "fit" anywhere, and, it's becoming more and more clear. (but, thanks to all you bloggie buds out there--you make me feel so much better and I love hearing from you, so, thanks!)

HRH Princess Hanna Puffy Cheeks went to the vet today. Got some meds, hopefully she'll drop some weight. The blood drawing was horrific. I don't know how parents of the two-legged variety do it--you all are my heroes!

The cards have been turned upside down, and, I'm hanging on tight. Wish me luck!

All Sunday, we watched The Discovery Channel's "When We Left Earth: NASA Missions". Anyone who knows me knows that when I was younger, I wanted to work for NASA and was ready to move to Houston in a heartbeat. Of course, I later learned that math was kind of important, and, well, I suck at math. That said, I still love the space program and can totally watch Apollo 13 over and over again. Also, I'm (very) distantly related to John Glenn. Like, very distantly.

Anyways, I'm sure you all aced your pop quiz. I'll hand out lollipops at the end of class.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go make myself a hotdog.

Love,
Her Shabbyness

Sunny Side Up

This picture was taken last summer on a family adventure in Vernal. I loved the way the sun was pushing it's light through the clouds.

After a nice relaxing night at home, some yummy orzo salad (I loves me some excuses to make pasta into a salad all summer long. Next up: trying to convince the husband that hummus will not in fact kill him), playing with puppies and not going to kickboxing (yes, I've come to accept my lardy status for now. I realize that I won't magically drop 10 lbs before Saturday--although, that would be ah-maze-ing, so, between now and then = lots and lots of sunless tanner my friends. Hey, I wonder if I could go get the airbrush tan and they could maybe airbrush me some abs? Hmmm....)--anyways, so, after a nice night at home (and a nap) and some sweet comments by some sweet people (thanks A & K!!), I'm feeling much better.

Because, after all, you can't control everything. And, sometimes, you've got to sink or swim, and, I vote to swim. Even if it means I'm going to need some floaties. I'll figure it out. I'll always do. Besides, I'm going to the beach.

You don't understand the excitement of the beach. This will be the first time in 3 years (gasp!) that I have felt sand in my toes or ran in a wave. It's been 3 years since I've moved away from my coastal home and moved where the nearest beach is hours away. And we haven't been there once since we've moved. Because we're lame. Someone remind me how I ended up here, again? In any event. Beach!

And, I'm wearing snappy new dark reddish uber comfy high heels today. And that always makes things better.

Musings & Monday

In no particular order.....

1. Actions speak louder than words. True story. (Don't say it. Do it.)
2. I don't really understand the whole HDTV/HD Cable/HD DVD thing. Don't even try, I won't get it.
3. I really want to make homemade ice cream, but, don't have an ice cream maker, and am sure I would butcher it anyway. So, if you ever come over and I offer you "homemade" ice cream, just go along and pretend like you don't know I didn't just put it in a different container. It'll make me feel handy.
4. Why is it that no matter what, I always wake up with a dog on my feet in the middle of the night? Who suddenly turns into dead weight and I cannot move.
5. We can finally watch movies at our house again (yay!!)
6. I'm exhausted.
7. We just recently bought a GPS for the car, we've named her Lola. She's mildly annoying, but, surprisingly accurate.
8. Here's an equation for you: Shabby Princess + Saturday + Costco = total freakout. I don't understand crowds! Why must they be wherever I am? Ah...!
9. I'm kind of bitter with some stuff right now. Which is lame. But, whatever.
10. I think we're still going to the beach (!). That said, I was thrilled I found my boardshorts last night.
11. I'm still pretty pale. Let's hope for sun! (fingers crossed people, fingers crossed)
12. My dogs are wildly excited because if we're gone, that means they are at daycare! Which, honestly, they like better than us 99% of the time anyway. And, bonus, they sleep through the night when they get back from daycare. Ah, bliss....
13. I have made myself a little icky by eating so much sugar today. Not good. Yes, I'm aware that I'm supposed to be on The D, but, you know what? I'm kind of in a funk and therefor, my self control has gone totally out the window. And I'm just going to have to deal with it. Even if it means looking like a lardy on the beach.... OK, well, I may just be starving myself come tomorrow. We'll see. I will not be "that" girl, oh no, no.
14. Seriously though, I believe that I look thinner with a tan, so, here's to a weekend sans sunscreen (please, no lectures on the skin cancer thing--I'm aware).
15. I could really just use a day to sleep....or, at least sleep in.
16. I didn't get to do yoga on Saturday.
17. Loved having friends over on Saturday night. Loved playing with friends kids. The puppies loved it too.

I suppose that's all for now..... It's been a rough couple of days.... But, my SIL Rach is a college graduate, and I couldn't be more proud of her. And that makes me smile. Congrats, babe, I love you!

Collective "awwww" please

Today is our anniversary!

Three years ago today, I was stuffing myself into a big 'ol white dress and having false eyelashes put on (oh yes I did). My hair was also much shorter and lighter. I insisted on wearing it up and curled--although it kind of resembles "prom hair" now that I think about it. I only had one ring on my left hand. I was still "single". I still lived with the fam.

By the end of the day, we were married. It was the Shabby Princes and the Shabby Princess. And now, we live in a whole different state, we have three little crazy four leggeds running our house (aka "the kids") and couldn't be happier. Who knew marriage was so great? (yeah, I had no idea. Literally weeks before I met the Shabby Prince, I had sworn off marriage and was content to live as a spinster. For real)

We're going to Roy's tonight for dinner--we had dinner at the original Roy's on a honeymoon (aren't we cheesy?).

And, her Shabbyness awoke to find this beauty awaiting her on the coffee table:

Yeah, I lucked out. And, I thought we were going to just grill up some steaks and watch Jon & Kate Plus 8 (not that I would have minded watching a marathon of my favorite not related to or in my ward family), but, he tricked me! He tricked me good! And, turns out, everyone knew. And I was just playing into their hands.

Could it be better?

(this totally makes up for my awful, terrible, very bad day I had yesterday)

Help me....

Lay off the Twix!

Seriously.

When did I become so obsessed?? Not good. Not good at all.

Made even worse by the fact that the husband and I may be going to the beach in a few weeks (sadly, not Hawaii--I'm not bitter or anything), and I don't want to look like a beached whale (but have no self control when it comes to cheap afternoon sugar rushes)! 'Cause for real, if we do end up going, I'm gonna look like a beached whale in comparison to S.

Because she's teeny.

And I'm a lardy. Who's eating Twix.

I'm going to need some help.

Feel free to pitch in, which includes:

• keeping me locked in my office
• making sure I have no money to spend at work (this will also include removing me of my ATM card, as there is an ATM on campus)
• burning my tongue so that I cannot taste anything anyway
• showing me pictures of a beached whale with my face on it (aka: soon to be "A&J Beach Pictures!!")
• wiring my jaw shut
• buying me stock in Slim Fast as to create motivation to drink the stuff (shudder, shudder)
• dragging me out of bed at 5AM so that I can go run before work (ha, who are we kidding).
  

I think that is a sufficient list for right now. *

*I reserve to update these items at any time before the dreaded beach trip.

Musings & Monday

(OK, but, you have to picture a platinum blonde with hair in a low chignon, long eyelashes, perfectly red matte lipstick, black pencil skirt, white button down, pen behind her ear....Ha! That is sooooo not me. I just wanted to create a visual for you all.)

In no particular order, my musings for the day....

1. Wore the clodhoppers to church. Not my best idea.
2. Saturday + Cabelas + free concert at Cabelas + DockDogs + Junior Anglers + some random re-enactment= a bunch o' craziness and one very out of place Shabby Princess. But, the Shabby Prince got himself a GPS for the truck, so, I can't complain too much.
3. Got the haircut. Didn't do the chop. Not so sure I'm in love with the color. I'll have to post some pictures. It is shorter than I had hoped. I'm dealing with it.
4. I need to chill out on the Root Beer Floats (oh, but they are so good). It's not helping with my D word (for you newbies, the D word = diet).
5. On that front, I'm loving the Yoplait light, or no fat or whatever that yogurt is. I ate some every day last week and I'm quite determined that it is helping my tummy stay semi trim. Shh, let me believe this. It makes me happy.
6. I don't feel so good, and need to go to the gym. It's going to be 101 today....Which means, I have to got to the gym because it'll be too hot to run. Ugh. I'm allergic to the gym. Really. I'd rather go to my kickboxing class, but, doggie is at the vet and by the time I pick her up and get home, it may be too late..... Why does everything happen to me?
7. We may be going to the beach in a few weeks with some fabulous friends (you know who you are)....So, hello tan! And um, I'm going to have to starve myself until then. I haven't seen a swimsuit in well...Never mind that.
8. It cost me $53 to fill up my car today. Yes, car. Not SUV, not truck, but car. When I moved here 5 years ago, it was $35. I do not appreciate that the numbers just decided to reverse. Not cool.

Also, I nearly cried my eyes out watching Army Wives last night. Luckily, L was teary too. Yes, I admit, it is sad that I get myself all wrapped up in TV shows. I'm aware of this factoid.

Is it 5 yet?

Sad Day

Sorry to post a debbie downer, but, I am saddened by the loss of NBC's Tim Russert. He was one of the few fair media people (in my mind) and someone I grew up watching.

As a political junkie, he was the voice I heard nearly every Sunday--the man who was there during the elections and the man who announced the run of my oh-so-favorite Governor.

He will be truly missed. NBC and the journalistic world will never be the same.

You can read the article here, at The New York Times.

Hold on to those you love, as you never know what's around the next corner.

Thank you eBay

For my new lovelies:

Which I got last night. Which are fabulous. Which are a bit more flashy than I had anticipated. That have gotten many a compliment today. That I love.

I do not love, however, that the heel height was not specified (eBay does: 3" and up, and leaves it at that), so, I think "Oh, three inch heel, I can totally do that. I run around here in 3.25 inch heels all the time. No problemo". Ha, ha, ha. What I did not account for, is that fact that they are in fact around 3.5ish with a slight platform. (which I love because I'm vertically challenged, or "not short, fun sized"--take your pick--I am not tall. My mother was taller than me. Not cool.) So, on the height front, I'll take all that I can get, however, you must picture this in your head (because, well, I couldn't find anything fitting enough on YouTube and I am not videotaping myself):

OK, get ready....

5 foot tall girl + 3.75 inch heels + windy day + painful blister on toe + breaking in said 3.75 inch heels = girl walking rather like in a horse in the excessively long gait and "clip, clop"-iness of the whole situation.

I'm sure that if I had a fly mask or a tail, people may really assume I'm a horse. For real. That is how loud I am walking today. And it's tres embarrassing. (don't you wish you were here to see this hilarity? You'd be in hysterics. This could only happen to me)

All you tall people (and by tall, I mean anyone above 5'1") have no idea how lucky you are.

If you want to see a horse/human, feel free to stop by my office. It is wildly hilarious.

Williams-Sonoma is my crack

So is J. Crew, but, we'll get to that later.

I'm still devouring my J. Crew catalog that came last night (first of all, ten points to J. Crew for somehow magically knowing that I moved and updating my address...if you are aware that they took the forwarding from the post office sending it back to them, you can just shush, because in my mind, the wonderful people at J. Crew just knew. And I'd like to keep my happy little thought alive), so, will post my new obsessions from them at a later date.

Onto more pressing items: the new Williams-Sonoma catalog came a few days ago and Oh.My.Goodness!!!

See, here's the problem: I find a bazillion things I need from WS, things I swear will change my life, that I must have right this minute or someone might die...and then, because I'm not a big spender, I don't buy said item(s). Then I whine about it for months. And annoy The Shabby Prince to no end.

That said, I may have to make an exception on a few items.
Like this:

Don't you just love it? Doesn't it make you want to whip up some ciabatta and eat outside? Gosh! If only I could make my place look like that.... Or, you know, just have a house in Tuscany. I am willing to go halvsies...Well, more like as much as we can get-sies with people to get us a villa in Tuscany. Just sayin'.

Oh, and this...

I just love this. I think it would look nice in my blue dining room. It just makes me feel like I'm somewhere in the Mediterranean. Sigh..

I have an obsession with beautiful platters, so,I may really, really need this one (considering the last platter I was in love with I didn't buy, and now want so bad because it would look so pretty on my kitchen island and waahhh)

Now, it's a known fact that I don't like pancakes (please don't judge. I try to like them, I really do, but, when I was a little Princess my grandmother used to make them all the time and did the whole "must clean your plate" thing and now, I'm sick of them). However, these little ditties may help me come around...

I may just have to invest in the little pancake maker that they sell. This may help me overcome my issues with pancakes. Can you imagine??

Also, I accept gifts, so, feel free to send any or all of these items my way. I'll send you something good in return, promise, you just gotta tell me what you might want! (and if you think I'm joking, you are so wrong)

Dear Pei Wei,

Thank you for the incredibly long wait we had last night. That was quite literally painfully long. As I do not do well without a full tummy. And there are only so many fortune cookies I can eat.

And thank you for the table of high schoolers seated next to us, because there were no clean tables further away from said loud high schoolers.

Not that we have anything against loud high school students, as we were all ourselves once loud high schoolers too.

But, not when both Shabby Prince & Princess had mediocre at best days, and the people at Urban Outfitters are not so much with the checking people out in a timely manner, only to head to our dinner refuge where we had to sit next to loud 16 year olds. For an extended period of time.

And, thank you for finally delivering our food, only to disappoint me with 3.5 small pieces of chicken. Yes, 3.5. And it wasn't even piping hot. Therefor, I was sad.

So, thank you Pei Wei for bumming me out.

Just thank your lucky stars o' Pei Wei employees, that we arrived home in time to watch Jon & Kate Plus 8. If I had missed that...Ohhh, you don't even want to know.

But anyways, I won't hold this against you--as usually the food and service is quite good. Although, for now, I'm still bitter.

Sincerely,

The Shabby Princess

PS. Anyone else have any hostile feelings to any restaurants?

Happy Birthday!

To YOU:
(thanks for the pic)

Captain Jack Sparrow (aka Johnny Depp) turns 45 today. Which I still don't believe.

And yes, my mom and I used to argue over who would be more acceptable dating him--she was 16 years older, I am 21 years younger. I maintained that it was acceptable for me to date him.

Sadly, neither of us ever got to test that hypothesis.

Anyways, Happy Birthday Mr. Depp.

I personally still adore Edward Scissorhands and Sleepy Hollow. He had to go make all those dang Pirate movies and become all famous again (although, Captain Jack is genius if I do say so myself).... Sheesh. Congrats on the success and all.

He is a sight for sore eyes..... Yes, in college The Roommate and The Shabby Princess had Johnny Depp posters in their room. And it's slightly embarrassing.

I feel as if a party should be thrown in his honor. I vote for a Johnny Depp movie watching marathon (my word, I'm offering to give up an episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8. You know that is serious!). Should I make a cake or something?

OK, OK, I'll stop gushing now....

In other news, my office smells like death (seriously. help) and I finally got my Twix. Ha, ha evil vending machine. Ha, ha.

PS. You can thank me later for providing you with the opportunity to check my blog and see a picture of Johnny Depp all at the same time. I know, I know, I'm a Saint. What a great way to start the week, right?!

You know you need a vacation when...

1. The thought of going to visit family sounds really exciting. Even those in the middle of nowhere, and those in Vernal. Yes, I said it. I want to go to Vernal. To see the fam.

2. You're increasingly jealous of family who gets to go to Hawaii next week (congrats Rachel and all).

3. After a not so nice run in with The Shabby Prince, the thought of a family vacay sounds...well... mildly appealing.

4. You're thinking of renewing your tanning membership, as to at least remember what "sun kissed" is.

5. Seriously, the Green River sounds really good.

Tres embarrassing.

On the less embarrassing side, I'm getting my hair done in two weeks--stressful. Short? Long? Chop it? Blonde? Brunette? Strawberry blonde? The choices are so endless. Help! The decision will haunt me for weeks, I'm sure.

Also, I worked on the book last night. Because I'm awesome like that. I promised BBF L a plane, so, in her words, I gotta finish the book in order to buy her the plane. Yeah, ain't she great?

And, feel free to buy me this necklace:

I do have an anniversary coming up, or, you know, I'm sure it's my equinox half birthday in Japan or something. Anyways, who said one needs an occasion to send me a little lovely? That's right, you don't need an occasion at all. But, if you do decide to buy me the necklace (which I think you should), please note that I'm willing to accept the Venice or Texas version, as I am currently wearing la Paris.

And, Happy Friday everyone!

Don't you love?

Reese's new 'do?

(thanks, dude for the photo)

She's so adorable she could wear a potato sack and still look amazing.

Problemo.... I have a tendency to always want to copy Reese's hair. Example: Ever since I was little I've wanted long hair. Like really long. So, in high school, my mission was to grow my hair out. And, I did. My first semester of college I had long, curly blond hair to the middle of my back. Very Rapunzel-like. And I loved it. Clearly, I loved Reese Witherspoon's Sweet Home Alabama bob more, and a week before Christmas I cut it all off. And kept it short for 2 years and am only just now getting it past my shoulders (my hair grows so slowly, it's painful. Although, that said, I do save money on highlights).

Which begs the question? Am I destined to chop it again? Or should I keep growing it out? And, more importantly, which look is going to make me look young and fun?

These are the big questions people.

Discuss freely.... I need all the help I can get!

Temper Tantrum in 3...2...1...

Don't you hate it when you've been working out a lot (as in, even lugged your really tired self to kickboxing after being sick), and then having a reasonably healthy dinner, so, you think to yourself..."Mmm afternoon treat...Mmm... chocolate sounds good...Mmm... Twix! I want Twix!".

So, you lug yourself over to the campus vending machine with your very happy and pretty $1 bill and think to yourself "Hello Lover" as you insert said bill and punch in C5. Ah, sweet perfection you are C5, sweet, sweet, perfection. When suddenly, your dreams of carmely cookieness are dashed with a loud "BEEP!" informing you that even though your beloved Twix is $0.85, they aren't going to take your dollar. Because it wants exact change.

Don't you just hate when that happens?? (because, let me tell you, I do)

So, naturally, you rifle through you purse and wallet to find: $0.63. Because really, when do I have change (or cash for that matter) on me? Really. I think we've learned that I do not carry cash after our 7-11 incident.

What to do? Throw a little mini temper tantrum in the privacy of the Vending Machine Room (yes, that is it's official name). And then buy some stupid animal crackers. Because it already took your stupid dollar.

And then come back to office and pout. A lot.

Stupid vending machine.

It's OK. I am recovering. I'm making this for dinner (after another round of kickboxing, thank you very much). And will then somehow justify myself to track down a blasted Twix tomorrow. No matter what.

PS. You know what will happen? Tomorrow, I'll want Jelly Belly's.

What happens when...

Three lovely ladies are in an office on a conference call, open the door to ask someone else to join them, scoot chairs around to accommodate new person only to find.... a dead (yes, it was rather well petrified) cockroach (aka minions of Satan)?

The answer my friend is some screeching (which I will not admit to) and removal of said Satan bug by person we so lovingly invited to our meetings. I doubt he'll be returning to any of our meetings ever again.

I would like to add however, that I consider myself brave on the cockroach front (even if I did whimper. Maybe. I might have). You see, when The Shabby Princess was sent off to Royal University she was forced to live in the dorms. Sadly, there were no castles available near by. Shucks. That said, there was this blasted cockroach that lived in my freaking room that wouldn't die. And I mean wouldn't. Isn't there something about cockroaches like they can live for a week without their heads or something? Well! This one certainly had that power. The dang thing lasted through several roommates. Roommate K and I first found the evil being in November. M moved into the dorm in January.

Our first encounter of the bug went something like this (mind you, this is with M. K did in fact try to kill the thing, chucking a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup at it. Didn't work. Nice try though).

"M! M! There's a cockroach!"
"Oh my god! Kill it! Kill it!" M is yelling as I'm looking for something to throw at the beast. Shoes? Shoes, why not. Die, die, die! So, we hurl a show (a flip flop I believe, which, in my opinion are the best at killing bugs. Very squash-ible.

So, we beat the living tar out of the thing. Smile at each other. "Ah, relief". And we return to watching some Johnny Depp movie and downing the Diet Coke as we had an exam the next day.

All well and good, right?

Ha, no, wrong.

As I was tidying up that night, I go to pick up my shoes from their place in bug killing world and put them in closet. La, la, la picking up room, la, la, la, clean, clean, shoes....Cockroach. Gone. Not. Under. Shoe. Repeat: gone.

The freaking out begins. Again. As we scurry the place, can't find it. Which, means, obviously that the bastard Satan bug has thus crawled into one of our beds (or even better, quickly reproduced in the last 45 minutes and is now sending an army of baby cockroaches--oh, I shudder....) and is waiting to bit us and suck the life out of us.
Obviously. Because that's what cockroaches do. They suck life. Similar to vampires. Riiiiiiiiigt.

This revelation resulted in bed linens being stripped, all shoes checked for life forms, and insane amounts of Lysol used. On everything. We figured, we were safe. Maybe the little minion died under one of our desks or something. So, M and I went to sleep. And had horrible dreams. And, mind you, we were sleeping without sheets. Camping style on top of the bed with random blankets we'd deemed safe as our coverings for the night.

And no one believed us. Because they were unaware of the power of the little beast bugs. We'd tell the story jokingly "ha, ha, we had to get up early to do laundry", "ha, ha, we're going to Costco for more Lysol" (if I remember correctly we couldn't use Raid or any bug killers. Someone smuggled Lysol. Thank you, whoever that was). It was all hilarious. Because, the more we thought about it, this stuff could only happen to us. After all, the bug had to be dead. It's been several months.

Ha, ha, you'd be wrong.

The cockroach's death occurred in a manner that we will not discuss here, as there may be some Cockroach Support Group out there (why?), so, in any event, we had two more visits from the elusive thing before his (?) life was ended and he journeyed down the happy water slide that resides in our washroom. Ha, ha cockroach. You cannot defeat Her Shabbyness.

So, moral is, the dead one in the office--easy peasy--it was at least dead!

The caterpillar that I found crawling up my shirt a few weeks ago? Sheer horror. *

*Yes, I realize I used the term "Satan" quite a lot. But, seriously, have you seen those buggers? Ew. Shudder, shudder. And, while when I was a kid, caterpillars are awesome, they are not so much when you find them crawling on you. At work. My apologies to the future butterfly community.

If you're blue

Which, admittedly, I have been lately (am doing much better, thanks for asking). So, here are a few of the joys in my life.

Yes, this is a little self praise-y, but, think about the happy things in your life, and I bet you'll feel just a bit better:

1. My doggy chewing on the mattress this morning trying to literally pull it out from under me. Never mind she has hardly any teeth and wasn't really getting anywhere. It was cute nonetheless.
2. Cooking. For myself, for my friends, whoever. Cooking yummy goodness makes me happy. That is, until I can get Giada on retainer to cook for me daily. Watch, it will happen.
3. Sunshine. Good excuse to get your Vitamin D.
4. Root beer floats. Best way to enjoy the summer.
5. Curling up to watch Jon & Kate Plus 8 with my kitty and puppies. And hunny. Because, it's not a true family night without all of us...although, it is a rarity.
6. The smell of real coconut.
7. Warm beds.
8. Pretty shoes (pink is even better).
9. Playing with children.
10. Tiaras.

What makes you happy??

I'm just sayin'

I'd be willing to make sure that Prince William is protected whilst at sea in the Caribbean.

I know the area well (right, Bri and Aubs?) and would be more than willing to show him the ropes. I'd also be willing to smuggle some conch fritters from Pussers (ohhh....lawdy, I am hungry) on board on HMS Iron Duke. I am just saying.

It would be a sacrifice, but, I'm sure I could handle it. As of course, to increase relations between the U.S and England.

So, Wills, I'm around. You have my number. I'm only a hop skip and jump from Tortola. Give me a ring should you need any assistance.

I'm also willing to chase down pirates and drug runners as well.

PS. Kate Middleton, don't worry. You're much prettier than me. Besides, we all know that Carl Philip is in love with me anyway.