Worst. Blogger. Ever--aka me!

Y'all.

I don't even know. The boyfriend got here and we had two amazing weeks running around Europe together, then he left and I was crazy depressed and crazy busy with school and work, then I decided I missed him too much and flew back for Easter, and then last week was just writing essays a good 10 hours a day, so, that's where that is.

Yikes.

But, I have pictures, so, that should make up for it, yes?

Back in March (yikes) I was wrapped up my last few days of classes, and working my face off because I was taking two weeks off to see my guy. The craziness was worth it!

He got in on a Friday morning and I got to the airport a good hour before we made it out of customs and baggage claim--I didn't even care, I was so excited and I couldn't risk not being there the second he walked out of those big double doors at Heathrow.

And I was there and he was there and it was perfect. I've always wanted someone to meet me, or to meet someone at Heathrow for one of those "Love Actually" moments, and I finally got one. And it was perfect.

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think of the arrivals gate at Heathrow airport....

We got back to my apartment so he could rest, clean up and relax for a bit before we headed out to be tourists.

First he needed to love on Moneypenny.

Not totally sure what to do with each other 

Can you blame him?

The first day I took him to King's, and we walked around the Southbank and The Strand, then back to Notting Hill for dinner. It was suuuuuper cold that first night so I had to wear my damn winter coat with my dress. Yes, I wore a dress. It was my first London date, I was wearing a damn dress.

Saturday was blissfully sunny, even if a little chilly, so we ditched the museum idea and went to an al fresco brunch followed by an afternoon in Hyde Park. We sat along The Serpentine and people watched, ate ice cream and relaxed. It was perfect.

Brunch at Bumpkin in South Ken 

I took him down Brompton Road so he could see it in all its ridiculousness and then we headed home to get ready for date night. Yes, silly, do I care, no. We had dinner at my favorite restaurant, Opera Tavern and then I showed him around Covent Garden and we spent the evening in Soho and Shaftesbury Ave.

Covent Garden 

Two idiots at a hipster bar 

Sunday was a perfectly lazy day--breakfast at the coffee shop down the street, then we headed over to Hampstead Heath where we had intermittent sun and a great Sunday roast.

Enjoying the rare London sun 

We had some time to kill after roast, so we trekked to a pub and just hung out for a bit. Lazy afternoons with no plans are so nice and something we never get to do together!

Sunday night we made plans to meet up with one of Ted's friends who lives in London. They met while on the crew team together in college, so it was super fun to have a night out with a bunch of rower nerds. We went to a pub in Maida Vale and then walked around for a bit. Nothing exciting, but, it was loads of fun!

Really not my most flattering angle, but, whatever--rowers unite in Maida Vale!

Monday we got it done! Museums in the morning, Buckingham Palace after, late lunch at Harrod's and a West End show that night. 

Late lunch at Harrod's raw bar: oyster's, smoked salmon and caviar. It was my "you're done with classes!" fancy lunch

Tuesday we did even more museums, a late lunch at my favorite Italian place and then dinner with my friends in Covent Garden, followed by a date to Five Guys with my most favorite girl and her husband so she could take burgers back home. True love is that he allowed her to purchase 3 burgers and take them home on the train! I'm telling you, it's the little things you miss from home, man!

We called it an early night because Wednesday we were off to PARIS!!

Love Actually, is, all around

I am so excited because on Friday morning, my guy finally gets to London! Like, he's getting on a flight and coming 3,600 miles to see me! Isn't that the most romantic thing ever? I'm insanely giddy about the whole thing. Insanely giddy to drag him around London, to play tourist in Paris and show him Barcelona. It will be the most amazing two weeks of my life.

The first time either one of us had a "real" New Year's Eve date

He is, an amazing guy. And I can't believe he's mine.

Our day in DC is one of my favorite days from 2013 and probably ever 

I can't believe he took a chance on us, when we'd only been dating three weeks and decided to try this whole ultra long distance thing. Looking back, it was completely crazy. I can't believe either one of us, honestly. But, here we are. And there's no one I've loved more, no on who's made me laugh more, who's supported me, or believed in me like him. I am truly grateful that we found each other.

And this was my least favorite day from 2013 and probably ever. The day I left Dallas

We've somehow been able to cultivate a gorgeous relationship from 3,600 miles apart, which, I think is the most telling. We're in this together ya know. Sure, we've missed out on a lot of those regular couple things--calling after work and seeing if the other wants to get dinner; deciding whose house to stay at over the weekend; having dates with friends; work events; just sitting on the couch watching a movie--we've missed out on all of that, but, what we do have is so great that I wouldn't trade it for anything. And, the best part is, when I'm done here, I get to fly back to him and stay with him for a little bit since I can't move back into my house until September.

From my going away party--where he wanted to meet all my friends and stayed with a group of girls until the very end f the night. 

Anyways. I'm just really lucky. If you've been here for awhile you know my love life has been somewhat of a disaster the last few years, from major heartaches, to break ups and lonely nights, it hasn't been easy. But, apparently, all that hardship was leading somewhere really, really good.

And, most importantly, on Friday, I get to pick up the love of my life from the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport, just like Hugh Grant always said. Love Actually, is, all around.

Two beach bums who met in Dallas, having a snowy date in Baltimore

The happenings

Y'all. I am so sorry I've been MIA. I have no excuse. Well, I do--I came back from Baltimore and got sidelined with the cold from hell. There was a solid week where I couldn't talk, which makes my job SUPER fun, and then the blasted thing settled in my ear, as per usual for me, but, the Brits aren't keen on antibiotics, so, I've been to two doctors who had advised me to go to sleep at night with olive oil in my ear. I still can't hear, and now I wake up at 5am craving foccacia. So. There's that.

Oh, and yesterday the door of apartment building slammed on my hand and broke one of my fingers. Turns out, finger breaks hurt a hell of a lot more than say ankle or elbow, because I legit passed out from the pain. Massive props to the lovely Camden city employee who saw me slumped over and helped me into a cab. Faith in humanity, y'all! And let me tell you, typing with a broken finger is no joke. Ouch.

And I won't lie, things here haven't been great. I've been very overwhelmed, some things at school have changed--my dissertation is due a month earlier than we were told (FML), my Penny pup had been really sick as well, and I've just felt very isolated and alone. And trust me, no one wants to hear me blog about that!

But, there have been good things too! My Oklahoma babe took me to a fun dinner last week when all I wanted to do was wallow. I've now found a new favorite restaurant--The Shed--and it reminds me of Wooderry Kitchen in Baltimore, so, WIN!

 My amazing best friend from home had her friend come by and bring me flowers and candy;

 the Italian sent me cold medicine and the most beautiful album from our day in DC over Christmas;

Hashtag: diefludie

Y'all, this man. I can't even. 

And most importantly, in exactly two weeks from this very moment, his flight will land at Heathrow and I will get to grab the love of my life at the arrivals gate of Heathrow airport--and everything will be ok.

TWO WEEKS!!

That time Mother Nature was drunk

We had half term a few weeks ago and as I was off from school, I decided to use that time to hop my little self back to Baltimore to see my babe, sleep in and celebrate Valentine's Day with my love. But, Mother Nature was drunk as hell and decided a nice little snowstorm was in order.

Didn't stop me.

Mother Nature can throw all she wants at us, we aren't staying apart!

My original flight to Baltimore was cancelled and after many tears to the lovely folks at British Airways they rebooked me on a flight later that same day (!) to Washington Dulles airport. Of course this meant he'd have to somehow get to Dulles to pick me up, which is a) a much longer drive than the five minutes from his house to BWI and b) um, Maryland was under a state of emergency and the roads were closed. As were the lightrail and MARC stations, so, getting to me wasn't going to happen. I cried.

We agreed I'd get a hotel room in Dulles, spend the night, and he would either come get me in the morning, or I would take the train. Being that my flight was 9 hours long, I had no idea if the airport was even open while we were in the air and when we landed--safely-- at Dulles, I was prepared to check into my hotel and cry myself to sleep--because I am nothing if not dramatic. Until he called and told me he was waiting for me there. There had been a break in the storm and he'd driven to Dulles and waited for two hours in his car, in an empty parking lot until my flight landed. That guy--y'all, I love him. Walking out of the airport and seeing ALL the snow, and knowing his stupid ass drove in that to get to me, was the sweetest thing ever. I'll forever be thankful he was safe on that drive.

Y'all. This guy. 

We drove to Baltimore on Friday morning and I spent the day at work with him, then we checked into our standard little B&B, exchanged gifts and got ready for my first proper Valentine's Day date!

Saturday was spent sleeping in, brunching at Woodberry Kitchen and driving around Baltimore finding snow banks to play in. Moreso me than him. Because he is boring.

 I demanded we drive up to see this school building and play in the snow. It was freezing, he wasn't amused. But it was so pretty!!!

Ok, ok, I'm freezing too, but, at least we're having fun!

We had a takeout sushi dinner and watched Skyfall. Sunday was more of the same--late breakfasts, and then he agreed to play tourist in the harbor and we did a tour of on old Civil War ship and I nerded out big time.

Sushi dates have been our "thing" since date numero tres and I don't see that changing anytime soon!

I've asked on every Baltimore trip if we can go play tourist on the ships in the harbor--it's never worked out until now--ya know, in the middle of a polar vortex, sure, let's go play in an old Civil War ship. Sounds about right. 

ALL THE CANNONS!

Monday we went to the movies and Target (saw Monuments Men--loved it!), and had a cozy antipasti dinner by candlelight while watching Les Mis (y'all, he watched it willingly!) with Gushers, because he wasn't allowed to have them as a child and my goal is to introduce him to all the best childhood lunchbox snacks. The poor soul hadn't ever had Honeycomb before either. It's just depressing. Next up, Fruit By The Foot! (I eat like a child, just in case y'all weren't aware of that fact)

Keepin' it classy 

It wasn't a very exciting weekend away--while all my classmates jetted off to Rome and Paris, I was happily snuggled up in boring ol Baltimore, and there isn't any place else I'd rather have been. Even if Mother Nature was off her damn rocker and it snowed literally the entire time. Here's hoping my next visit (in June) is sunny!

Our last few moments before he took me to the airport. I really should win an Oscar for that amazing acting--not two seconds later I burst into tears. 

And in three weeks, he comes to me (finally!) for two weeks of European fun! I cannot wait!

On not getting ''skinny sleep'' and telling the thigh gap to eff off

Last week a friend posted an article on facebook and I read the entire thing feeling like someone had read my mind. There are certain things that really do get my undies in a bunch, and one of them is the general idea of beauty and expectations of women in our society.

I got pretty hot once attempting to explain why the idea of hair extensions, fake tanning and eyelash extensions bothered me so much--it's not so much that I think they are bad--I've had eyelash extensions, am no stranger to a spray tan and wish upon wish my hair would grow like Rapunzel, but, my point was more that when women can fake all these things, how can we ever compete as the women we are? The natural women we are. How can our beauty, our bodies be enough?

I work in the fitness industry and before that, in sports marketing. I'm in a place where I wear spandex to work every single day and am forced to be surrounded by full length mirrors all day. I detest this. I detest mirrors because if one is around, I will stare at myself in it--not because I am admiring myself, nope, for the exact opposite reason--I stare to find my flaws. To catch a glimpse of my crows feet, and my not as skinny as I'd like stomach--and that, that is a terrible use of my time and energy.

But, I can't stop. I can't stop because I've done it for so long, I've hated the way I look, the way I'm shaped, the color of my eyes, my hair, my skin, my freckles, my ass, my tiny boobs, the birthmark on my belly, the mole on my forehead--I've hated all those things for as long as I can remember. And, unless my size 00 jeans are falling off, I've felt unhappy with the way I look.

I don't tell you this for praise, or compliments, no, no, I tell you this because there are 10 million of us out there and none of us are talking about it. There are 10 million Americans who suffer from eating disorders. Am I actively suffering now? No. But, I don't think it is something that every goes away, thus I count myself in those masses. I've suffered with eating disorders of varying severity for 14ish years, and is something I've only just recently shared with my boyfriend, the guy who couldn't understand why I called myself fat, and told him I wasn't pretty enough to date him--the guy who has treated me with nothing but respect and love from day one, and yet here I was, acting like a fool because of some stupid societal pressure that I feel like I'm not worthy of his love. Because, I am not skinny enough.

ARE YOU EFFING CRAZY, SP?! I know, I know, yet this, this is what eating disorders do to you. It's not just about food. It's a mental state--a terrible one at that--and it impacts every facet of your life.

Throughout most of my life I have been active, dance, running, riding, crew, etc, I've naturally stayed healthy and I come from genetics that aren't so bad, but, when I was in high school and all my friends were popular and had their hip bones poking out, and myself was the awkward, geeky kid who just wanted to read and dance and felt alone, the natural solution was that I wasn't skinny enough. I understand how crazy that sounds, but, I can tell you that's where it started. And it was made all the worse because do you know how many compliments you get when you lose weight?! Talk about an ego stroke. And aren't we preprogrammed to want to feel good? It's a dangerous cycle. And it was for me. I'm not proud of being thrilled because my cheerleading skirt was too big when it came in after measurements because I'd lost weight, I'm not proud that I once stood in the dressing room with the smallest size pants they sold falling off me and thinking that I'd finally made it, I'm not proud that I've refused to eat countless amazing meals or that I obsessively counted calories and worked out for hours, losing precious time with friends and family. I'm not proud of it, but, it happened and I can only try to go up from here.

Even though I fall down all the damn time.

And this is where I struggle with the beauty industry, with the ''skinny sleep'' and ''thigh gap'', because those expectations, be it Rapunzel hair, caramel skin, Victoria's Secret model boobs, or that god awful thigh gap are unattainable for most women, and drive us insane trying to achieve them. Me, I am petite, built like a dancer and have zero boobs--never have, never will. Even at my skinniest (freshman year of college, living off 400 calories a day) my thighs never had a gap, and they never will. I am fair skinned with freckles and will never, ever be an olive skinned bronzed beauty. So why do I care? Because that is what we are fed to believe is beautiful. And I hate that. I hate what we allow ourselves to start believing, and I hate what I see happening with young girls today and their efforts to be perfect.

When will it stop?

I struggle everyday to not fall back into the trap, I try to love the body I'm in and take care of myself. Yes, I work hard to stay fit and I hope that my clients see me as someone healthy and strong who wants them to feel that way too. There are days when I don't eat, and there are days when I run myself into the ground to burn off the calories I just ate. There are days when I say screw it and eat myself silly. It's a process. One I struggle with daily. It's an exhausting addiction, that's for sure.

I don't have the answers here, I'm not saying I do. I'm just saying, if you're struggling, you aren't alone. And that as a society, I hope we can come together to support the idea of real beauty and stop beating ourselves up because we don't have a goddamn thigh gap (if you do, more power to you, I just hope you have it because that is how you are built, not because you have starved yourself into it). I hope we can learn to be happy with what we have and be grateful for all the wonderful things we have and can do rather than being focused on the have nots. Because the have nots, aren't worth it. But our happiness is worth everything.

Nope, nope, still alive

Hi y'all! I'm sorry to have been MIA. I didn't forget about you! But, I've been busy, and busy, and, mentally exhausted--physically exhausted too. Just all over the place!

Hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel and I will be back on my game, but, here's what's been goin' on in Shabbyville.

I got back to London and since we were recovering from homesickness and needed something GOOD,  my roommate and I saw Jude Law in Henry V, which was phenomenal. I wish they had done a broadcast of some sort because it was really great. I love Jude as much as the next gal, but, he blew me away! And I am very hard on Shakespeare.

Speaking of, I'm going to see a screening of Tom Hiddleston in Coriolanus this weekend. You have the SuperBowl, we have Shakespeare. And, Hiddleston.

School is kicking my ass.

Work is kicking my ass.

My computer decided it wanted to be possessed by demon spawn and died. Le boyfriend is trying to fix it remotely since no Genius Bars in London can see me until the end of time apparently, and I'm too scared to send it to Apple Care in the States for fear it will get lost in the mail. ALL. MY. RESEARCH. Lots of tears have been shed, lots of sleep lost, and I am coming to you from a crappy laptop I bought just so I could so my coursework. FML. This is not what I enjoy spending my money on. Until Kate Spade or Ted Baker make laptops, I'm not thrilled with purchasing new technology.

My London bestie and I went to Bath last weekend and I went all history nerd on her. She puts up with me and that's awesome.

My bestie boo announced she's pregnant and, hey guys, IT'S A GIRL! I get a niece. It's pretty much the best thing ever in the history of the world.

I'm going back to the States in less than two weeks for half term break and to spend a long weekend with the boy. We rock this long distance thing, but, I won't say it's easy. And the more time we spend together, the harder it is to be apart, but, such is life. And, he's coming here for TWO weeks in April and I cannot wait!! All the tourist stuff!

So, that's where I've been and where I'll be. I promise to do better!!

And, to help my blogging, I'd like my computer back, any kind of prayers or blood sacrifices offered up to Apple would be greatly appreciated.

xoxo
SP

California Christmas & Baltimore Bonanza

Happy 2014 y'all! I hope you had a lovely holiday season and a very festive New Year--I sure did! Apologies for the lack of blogging, but, I was busy enjoying friends, family and my time with my guy, so, interneting took a backseat for sure.

I was lucky enough to ditch rainy London for two weeks and head back to the States. All I really wanted was In N Out, so, that happened as soon as I got off the plane at LAX!

Get in my belly!!!

But, seriously, I had some great days at home, which was beautiful because the weather was insane and I spent Christmas Day camped by the pool trying to get some sun since who knows when the hell I'll ever see it again in London. Probably in July.

I ain't even mad

I spent almost a week in California, which was probably the longest stretch I've had there in several years, but, it was great. I got to have a few catch ups with my big sister, I went to Target multiple times (!), got some sun, ate good food, had a good old fashioned slumber party with two of my oldest friends, and got to watch a lot of TV, so, all in all, no complaints!

Surprised the sis at work on Christmas Eve 

It seemed really funny at the time.... 

Me and mini sis after all the presents were unwrapped 

Dinner at Luna Red with my oldest friends where we ate and chatted for nearly 4 hours!

I've loved these girls for 28 years 

Got to see one of my mom's very dearest friends

Oysters in CA with my best gals 

After a week of sun, I jetted off to freezing Baltimore for a week with my guy! Boy howdy, the last month has been hard, y'all. School has been kicking my ass, work has been exhausting, and all I've wanted to do is hug my boyfriend and have him tell me it's going to be ok. But, you can't really do that when you live 3,600 freaking miles apart.

So, we made up for it by a week of catching up, lazy snow days and running around DC like fools. It was perfect. The only thing better would have been if I didn't have to leave. But, let's not talk about that!

I got in on Sunday afternoon and arrived to our own Christmas celebration. He even made sure we'd have a tree.

After dinner we exchanged presents and settled in for a night of movies and hot chocolate in our jammies. Maybe a little boring, but, absolutely perfect.

Sooooo, we met paddle boarding. He had this Christmas ornament made for me. I know, I died. 

Monday we headed to DC so this little expat could go all I LOVE AMERICA, which, of course, I did. He's only been to DC once and I've been more times than I can count, so, I played museum tour guide as best I could. Mind you, it was cold. I was not pleasant, but, he was perfect.

(I actually really need this fool to edit and upload all the pictures he took with his fancy camera, but, whatever, apparently, asking for them 20 times a day is not attractive)

PISMO BEACH!! Where I'm from, duhhhhh. 

We found a cannon. Well, I found a cannon.

MAN ALL THE CANNONS!!

I drug him around the American History Museum and through the Star Spangled Banner exhibit. Then we trekked down the mall to the capitol where we got distracted by ice skating--which, was hilarious because I suck at ice skating, and he plays ice hockey. I'm wholly convinced this was just an excuse for him to get me to hang onto him, but, whatever. Yes, we were that disgusting couple all holding hands on the ice. In my defense, I hurt my back a few weeks ago and really, really didn't feel like falling on the ice.

After the detour, we headed back towards the capitol, where I then got distracted when walking past the national art gallery. They are refurbishing something so the random wooden walls were up with posters and advertisements, etc, and one I noticed as we were walking was for a piece of art called The Dying Gaul. Which, is a piece I studied at King's and never thought I'd see in person because it's in Rome.

Nope. It's in DC for a few months on loan.

I have never run so fast in my life--and I run marathons! The museum was closing in five minutes and I was not going to miss this opportunity. We sprinted up the stairs and into the entryway where he was so kind to ask the security guards (as to not waste time) where it was. I literally pushed children out of my way and made it to the piece with seconds to spare before they started kicking people out.

I may have cried. I mean, we studied this. This was a huge thing! I never thought I'd actually see it for real. I couldn't believe that I was standing there in front of The Dying Gaul and seeing all the things we discussed in class. It was surreal.

He may have laughed at me.

Then I pulled myself together and we went and took pictures at the capitol. Because we're that couple.

WHY IS HE SO CUTE?!

The following day was a lazy day of late breakfasts, TV shows (neither of us have cable) and getting fancy for our New Years Eve dinner. He's never had a date for NYE so I wanted to make sure it was special. We went to B&O and had literally the most amazing meal, enjoyed each others company and talked about our plans for 2014. We rang in the new year together and cheers-ed to a beautiful year together. (are you gagging yet?)

In all our fanciness 

Starting 2014 with the best of 2013--each other (oh my god, I want to gag myself)

The next day was brunch with my gall duchessbelle and her guy, house hunting (don't worry, I found my dream house), and eating all the oysters in Maryland. I'm very good at this.

He had to go back to work on Thursday, so, I spent the day working, playing house by cleaning and laundry-ing (I really missed American things like dishwashers and a separate dryer!) and then we headed to our favorite restaurant, Woodberry Kitchen, in the snow.

Yes, it snowed. So, naturally, these two beach bums had to play in it!

I love this picture--it seems very "New York" to me

Two beach bums in the snow--we looked like fools. 

This picture makes me deliriously happy. Mostly because he took it and goddamn don't we look happy?! He's also decided this is his Christmas card. Excuse me while I melt. 

Friday was my last day, and a snow day for him, which I was so thankful for, so, we slept in, went to lunch and ran around Baltimore in the snow, taking pictures, laughing and freezing before he had to take me to the airport. There was a ton of traffic and I was not so secretly hoping I'd miss my flight. I didn't. The one time I want a flight to be cancelled, it can't be bothered and actually leaves on time. RUDE.

Enjoying our last few moments together... 

So, I arrived back to London to my pups and my job and missing my heart oh so very much. And because we are insane, in less than 48 hours of being back, I booked my tickets to see him in February.

And thanked my lucky stars for the job I hated that had me on the road three weeks out of the month--because without that, I'd have no miles and no way to fly back to my love so often. As he told me, "everything happens for a reason"....

Happy New Year, y'all!