London Calling

Normally, I am Miss Independent and can do damn near anything on my own, but, suddenly, my solo pond hop to London is freaking me out.

One week. One week in the city I love. One week of just me. I've never done this. I'm scared. I'm excited. I'm anxious.

It might be just what the doctor ordered, or, in my dad's words, I may throw myself in front of the Bakerloo line (doesn’t he know if I’m going to do it, I’m picking the Piccadilly line and doing it at the Harrod’s stop, duh). Hoping for the former. I don't have a ton of plans, maybe that's what's scaring me? Time alone. Don't think I need that at all. My usual habit of bench sitting, tea drinking and book reading might be too much for my fragile little soul to handle. 

I don't have anyone to share any West End love with this time, don’t have anyone to lunch at Harrod’s with, or to run through Piccadilly at 1am with as I'm wont to do, and that's scary. But, I'm going to do it anyway! I'm going to slap on a fabulous new dress and run amok through the best city in the world. 

I am so looking forward to get back there and finding out what I’ll do and who I am.

Surely I’ll write in Hyde Park. I’ll bench sit with a book in Green Park (duh). I’ll laugh. I’ll stay out late. Hopefully I’ll sing and I’ll dance. Surely I’ll see a show--or fifteen. And I will finally sleep (courtesy of enough Ambien to kill a horse). We know I’ll wander my favorite neighborhoods and spend the family fortune on Bond Street. And of course, I’ll cry.....probably a lot. 

All alone in my city. No sister this time, no dad, no colleagues, just me. Me and my city. I'll have two days with my cousin, but, the rest the time I am on my own. To find me. To get lost. To explore. To love. I'm not sure a week will be enough.

Because "even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise".

And this time, I suspect it will be rising along the Thames. Me with a cuppa and scones. And happy tears.

My life isn't what I expected, what I'd hoped, what I'd dreamed, but, it's mine and I'm going to find my way and my place in this great big world. Starting with London.

Solid chance I pull an Eat, Pray, Love and never return. You've been warned. If I do set up shop there, I promise I won't start talking British--I'm always a Texas girl, y'all. 

(image from here via Pinterest)