"Bonjour! Good day! How is your family?"

View from our hotel room 

Why yes, we will just sing Beauty and The Beast. Yes, I know I wasn't in France, but, I also wasn't in Austria and these fools speak French, so, it was only right to act out Beauty And The Beast (especially since the PERFECT "16 Going on 17" spinny twirly dress did not make its way to my grubby hands until London)

So perfectly European!

So, Luxembourg is a hilarious little country (duchy?) that is just so cheesily European camp that I could've stayed there 100 years. And it's literally the size of my pinky finger. That is how hilarious it is.

It's this little place that speaks three official languages--none of them English, fyi--and can't really make up its mind if it is French, or German or what. Well, what it is, is awesome. It's quaint, and sweet, and lovely. We explored old town and I got to run through the business district and downtown (hello, shopping!).

They don't speak English, but love them some American food!

Cathedral du blu de blue blue--I don't speak French

We stumbled across lovely little homes, an old cathedral, and of course, ruins of the Casemates, which are these ridiculous old underground barricades that were used as part of a fortification of the castle (which no longer stands) and then eventually as trenches in the World Wars. Sure, there is no castle, but, these freaking things survived. (sidenote, I just wanted to sit my ass down in a coffee shop and eat gelato.... but...! It ended up being fun!)

Casemates du Bock, aka barricades of death 

So, we paid our 3 Euro each and went in. Naturally, there were no maps, no directions, no anything, so, we just kind of wandered. And wandered. 

And wandered some more. 

Lost in the barricades...

I found cannons.

I tried to fire them, didn't work. Sad.

I refused to go up questionable staircases.

This is my "oh hell no" face

I had also run a half marathon not 12 hours before, so, no, I did not want to traipse up random stairways.

I accidentally pulled a handrail out of the wall. Evidently that shit can survive a war, but, not 110lbs of exhausted runner. I told my friend LK this and he couldn't stop laughing. Rude.

This is my "I'm smiling but I really want to die" face

Vanna White skillz showing you how narrow these stairs really are. Makes The Tower look like a dang cake walk

It was seriously, the best money we spent. (I was going to say the money we spent in Stoke was the best, but, um, we didn't spend a pence! Thank you LK, Michael, Ian, Wayne and Regan, we love you!) We laughed hysterically, I tried to take pictures with all the cannons, we got lost--it was just hilariously FUN!

Tell me this isn't where Dracula lives, I mean, come on!

Afterwards, because I was grumpy and hungry, Susan and I went to the Chocolate House. Which, is exactly what it sounds like. Well, ok, maybe not. It's not a house made of chocolate, in case that's what you were thinking.

It's a restaurant that only serves chocolate and other delicious treats.

Their specialty are these HUNKS O' CHOCOLATE that you melt into hot milk so you are basically drinking pure chocolate. With whole milk. These fools don't do "fat free". There is a WALL of these and basically you stand there for 30 minutes deciding which one you want. You eventually decide on lavender because you are a hippie yoga teacher and then because they don't speak English you just point at a cake in the display case and hope it is yummy.

That's not hot chocolate, it's chocolate soup. OMG.

It is.

And then you don't eat again.

ALL THE FOOD!

Possibly until the airport. Where you also smuggle mini bags of gummi bears and croissants into your purse to tide you over for the very long flight of 85 minutes to Heathrow.

But then they feed you on the flight, so, you land in Heathrow 17 different kinds of chubby which really defeats the whole "Hot In Stoke" idea you had going on for yourself.

WORTH IT.

And then, then we went to London. Where a whole bunch o' things happened that trust me, you want to hear about! Stay tuned!
xox