What I Would Have Said

If you had told me one year ago, what my life would look like today, I would have told you "you are drunk!".

If you'd said that I'd be a certified yoga teacher, a Pure Barre instructor and planning my fifth trip back to England in 16 months, I'd have told you again, "you are drunk".

My life surely isn't what I thought it would be (don't make me start singing "I Dreamed A Dream"--because I WILL), but goodness me, I absolutely love it. It's mine.

A year ago, I knew my life was changing, I knew it--I felt it, I couldn't stop it. But I had no idea that it would lead me here. There have been so many hot messes, heartbreaks, heartaches, crazy stories and hilarious mistakes over the last year, don't get me wrong, but where it has led, where I am now, is essentially where I never knew I always wanted to be. Hopefully that sounds less crazy than I think it does.

I've found something I truly love with every fiber of my being, I'm spending my days sharing my craft with others and I just love teaching, I love shouting "arms up, chest up, legs up--lift!" (that's the cue for full locust, fyi) and seeing the hard work of my yogis. I also love walking into the studio to find my class busting out the Harlem Shake.

Having a goof off with Hannah, Diana, Laura and Emily in headstand

I've learnt that England is where I belong, where my heart will always reside. I don't know that I'll ever end up there permanently, but I know that when I'm there, I am home. I know that my Molls will be there for a few years which means I can stay with her, ha!

I know that it comforts my soul and brings me back down to who I am. I know that some of my greatest loves are there (Molls, our extended UK family, etc). And I'm anxiously plotting my return to the comfort of her flat in Cambridge and the late nights at The Lyric and early mornings in Hyde Park.

Just found this shot of us leaving LAX. I love you, Molls!!

Found this on Pinterest. Been there, done that, got the tshirt. Or is this a "saw it on Pinterest and did it" thing? Bwahaha.

I've found friends that I know were put into my life at the right time because God knew I'd need them.

Like this gal! My angel of music. She completes my soul. 

It's been a real roller coaster ride, and I could have never expected the things I've seen, done and lived through, but man, here I am, alive, in one piece and with so much more ahead of me.

So, I guess the point of this post is to remind us all that even in the darkest hours--and I know I will have many more--even in those moments, there is goodness to be found. Be brave, be strong and hold on! We got this!

xoxox

Harlem Shake

So, we've all seen the Harlem Shake videos on YouTube, right?

Well, last week I walked into yoga school after a meeting and my idiot yogis were making a Harlem Shake video. I about died when I walked into Ky dancing with a skeleton (his name is Nigel, fyi) and Jordan rolling across the floor.

Yeah, so this is what happens when we practice 5 hours a day--we loose our ever loving minds--and create amazing crap for YouTube.

I'm biased, but, I had to share!



Namaste from us to you!

Be My Valentine?

Last year I went all crazy and made cookies, and candy and EVERYTHING PINK for my friends and family, and this year, meh, I sent a few cards. In my defense, I've had no time and I spend 87.64% of said time with a bunch of yogis, so my insanely delicious cupcakes would be lost on those no refined sugar hippies. No treats for you!

And, let's be honest, being single and broken hearted doesn't really bode well for a holiday built around romance and love. Want to talk about love, let's discuss how much I love my TV, my bed and my Diet Coke. But, we won't, because that's really, really sad.

However! However, I do have a Valentine this year. He's a bit young, but, he's the most handsome guy you'll ever see; I've already met his family and I think they like me (man, I hope they do!)--he laughs at my jokes, was introduced to Chipotle on my birthday and LOVED it--and the last time we chatted, he tried to kiss me through the phone, so, I mean, I think I can claim him as my Valentine.

Want to meet him? Here he is!

My nephew, sweet little Mac.

My best friend Sara is the queen of cards, I tell you. Her getting knocked up and having this little nugget is seriously like the best thing ever for the Postal Service. If there is a holiday, the kiddo is on a card. Which is amazing and awesome because a) I love mail that is not bills b) um, you've seen how cute he is, right? and c) I love that she includes ME and sends ME cards.

She's the bestest bestest thing ever and I couldn't be luckier to call her a friend. I am spoiled rotten because of her and goodness me, I love that dang kid of hers with my whole heart. I just feel really bad for when he grows up because he'll have his crazy over protective mother (Sara, let's just be honest here) and then crazy over protective Auntie Ally. Unless he's dating William and Kate's daughter or something, pretty sure we aren't going to be pleased. ha! And again, she gave me the sweetest nephew I could ever imagine!

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours. I'm sorry that I have the best Valentine in all the land, but, I'm really not that sorry--I'm not sharing.

I love all you lovely readers, all those who comment, and those who don't, who tweet me, or those who just give good thoughts. Thank you for putting a smile on my face and for coming to my little corner of the internet.

Wishing you a very sweet day, filled with love, laughter and joy--from wherever it may come!

xoxo

Back at it

Told ya I'd be back to my non whiny blogging right quick!

I can't promise I won't whine anymore, I mean, it's Valentine's Day week and other crappy stuff, but, I'm going to at least try to pepper some normal in with the bad. I'm still super pissed off, sad, broken hearted and basically cried the whole of yesterday, but, whatever, let's talk about pretty happy things! Fake it till you make it and all.

This is super hodge podge, FYI.

I picked up this candle a few weeks ago because I actually wanted the London Calling candle--act surprised--but, I didn't buy it because London to me, will always smell like the Barricade Boy, and this candle does not smell like him.

But you guys? I fell in LOVE LOVE LOVE with this. BBW White Barn Renew & Refresh No. 3

I need it in every single room of my house. It's fresh and floral and clean and oooommmmggggg. I see this obsession getting out of hand really quickly.

I also used some $$ that had been burning a hole in my pocket to bring home this adorable little dress.

It's whimsical and cute and FUN. Methinks it will be a perfect "first date dress", but, you know, first I have to get asked out on a date.

As I'm sure you know, Amazon saves your searches and purchases and makes recommendations for you. While I was buying ALL THE YOGA BOOKS it recommended Les Miserables: From Stage to Screen--so I tossed it in my cart along with anatomy for yoga, aruyveda with yoga and went on my merry way. (yogic medicine and showtunes--sure)

It arrived yesterday and I cannot contain my stagey geek side. BB's friends are all in and it just reminds me of him and our friendship--in a happy way and I just love it and it reminds me of my mom and how much we loved Les Mis and made me smile big big time.  And it has posters and Hugh Jackman and stories! It's like the musical theater bible.

If you are a stagey geek like me, you need this book!!

And while we're discussing Les Miserables, there is also this:

Also? Mr. Sunshine is on Amazon Instant video. It's basically all Chandler all the time. I really wish ABC hadn't cancelled it--his best work since Friends!!

That's about all I've got for today. How are you all doing? Anything exciting I need to know about? I didn't watch the Grammy's, I was too busy crying--how'd they turn out?

50 Shades of (Being Meredith) Grey

I alluded to it last week, but, not shockingly, my wee heart has had some troubles. In short, I felt like Meredith Grey in her whiny needy "pick me, choose me, love me" stage and it sucked--in the end, I did want him to pick me, to be brave enough to try again, and to try with me. I don't really want to talk about it, I mean, it took me however long to be able to talk about the Barricade Boy, so, no, not there yet (although, BB meant a great deal more, blah, blah). It's hard--always is. And made all the worse by Valentine's Day. And the ex getting married this weekend. FML.

So, I'm struggling. Like I said, even yogis get the blues.

And I can cling to all I have, and all that's ahead, and I am, but, sometimes it's ok to be sad--it's a human emotion and we aren't human if we don't welcome the good and the bad (is that yoga hippie enough for you??). Also doesn't mean I don't want to hole up in a movie theater with ten pounds of Twizzlers, enough Diet Coke to kill an elephant and watch Les Mis again and again, cause I do--but, I won't. Cause that's like legit crazyville. And I'm only medium crazyville. For now.

Instead, I will cling to this little ditty my cousin sent me ages ago:

And hey, hey God, yeah, preferably this one:

I have no words. Other than CHEEKBONES, FRECKLES, HAIR AND HE SINGS

Please and thank you.

(thanks y'all for hanging with me, I promise we'll be back to Anthro, Burberry and stupid shit in two shakes of a lamb's tail!)

Grumpy Thursday

I apologize in advance, but, man, I got some stuff to say!

1. If you are a size 00 in lululemon,  you are absolutely not allowed to complain to me about feeling "fat". Especially with a giant rock on your finger. This is how I feel about a new girl in yoga. Go back to Pretty Pretty Princess land, this mere mortal is not prepared for your type yet!

2. My ex is getting married in 9 days. Ask me how I feel about that. Well, actually, you probably don't want to ask me.

3. I am living in Meredith Grey "pick me, choose me, love me" land. Men cannot commit and it is driving me bonkers. Doesn't help that I'm bloody crazy about the fool. Ooof.

4. Jeremy Jordan on Smash makes things mildly better. I have strong distain for his character thus far, but, him as a person, I do love oh so much (stagey nerd alert, stagey alert!)

5. Molls accepted her letter to Cambridge FOR REAL. Which means my baby girl is a true and proper Brit for the next few years, which also means I have a place to stay--holla! I was gonna buy her something, but, I think she needs to stalk Eddie Redmayne at an alumni event and then we're even for the Burberry I gave her at undergrad graduation, right?

6. So, uh, Hugh Jackman look alikes do not do online dating. You know who does? Hermit trolls. Who probably live with their mothers. There needs to be some sort of filter like "unless you are a 7+ on the Hugh Jackman scale, don't bother contacting me". This also relates to #3 and if this idiot would just take me off the market and I wouldn't be in online dating hell (I'm only looking, ya know, just in case. And it's not even worth it, y'all)

7. I've been so busy I haven't set foot in a mall since I started yoga training. I'm a little concerned. Pretty sure American Express is as well.


Welp, that's about all I've got. Sorry this isn't sunshine and roses today--even the yogis get the blues.

What's bugging you? Any rants you wanna get off your chest? Let's hear it!

Pure Badassery

You know how when your life is just plugging along and then all the sudden everything goes upside down and crazypants? Yeah, that never happens to me either-- until now. (mine is just usually one hot mess after another)

As you know, I'm in yoga teacher training, and it is literally killing me. I have never worked so hard, been so emotionally and mentally exhausted, or so hungry in my life. I just want to set up shop at In N Out and eat a good $500 worth of food. But, my all day intensive training is almost done (one day mooooooore!). Whew. 

I'm getting zero sleep, which, as an insomniac isn't uncommon, but, for some reason when I'm in insomnia lack of sleep, I feel like it's my choice in a weird way, this is just my staying up all night because I am wired from classes (or studying, FML) and then having to wake up at 4:45 the next day. Now I totally understand why BB always needed a drink after work or he couldn't sleep. So wound up!!

I'm having a great time, I'm really learning so much about myself, about relationships I've had, and about what I really want. And, apparently I mumble sing when I get deep in meditation. Last night I believe I kept reciting "don't you fret, Monsieur Marius, I don't feel any pain". Like that surprises anyone!

But wait, there's more! (I KNOW!)

On Saturday, I was offered and accepted a job as a Pure Barre founding instructor at the new Arlington, Texas studio! I get to help open it, get classes going, and be one of the very first instructors in Arlington. I am sooooo excited! I can't wait for the studio doors to open and share Pure Barre with the public. (and I fully expect all you Dallas friends to come to my classes! Drive to Arlington at least a few times for me!)

Just like that, I've gone from meh to yoga and Pure Barre instructor in a matter of weeks. On a vain note, can you imagine how hot I will be?! This is my point. (EDDIE REDMAYNE CALL ME ALREADY, HUGH HAS MY NUMBER)

Well, that and my master plan to move to London and open a yoga/Pilates/dance studio in Covent Garden. Can.You.Imagine?!

Y'all, I am going to get paid to wear lululemon. This could be dangerous....

What badassery things are y'all doing? Who's gonna come get their PB on with me?

Letting go

It's about to get deep up in here y'all--been warned!

(also, I can't do this without credit to my bff Ren and "letitgoooooo". love you, girl)

I've discussed before how I am the classic over giver. I will sacrifice anything and everything if you ask me to. This is dangerous  on several levels 1) It's just dumb 2) It means I get my feelings hurt very easily when others I depend on do not behave in the same manner I do--and let's be honest, not many people behave that way, and that's good--they are normal! I am crazy. 

I'm also an over thinker, and over worrier and planner. Man, you should have seen me trying to sort everything out when I went to Spain last year. Holy jeezus. On the flipside, Molly and I had absolutely ZERO plans when we landed in London which was wonderful. 

One thing that is really dangerous for me is getting inside my mind--it's a scary place. Bad things happen there. This is why for the last year, I've had a major love/hate relationship with yoga. I love it because it makes my works my body and it challenges me. I hate it because it gives me time to think. Time to be still and quiet and alone. BAD BAD BAD. 

When I was dealing with some of the biggest challenges of my life earlier this summer, I would steal away to the studio where I'd have moments of hysterical tears and moments of brilliant clarity all in 90 minutes. It was, oftentimes, the most clear I've ever been and I knew exactly what I wanted and what I needed to do. Nevermind that off the mat I was paralyzed with fear, heartache and anxiety. 

I was worried teacher training would be much the same, but, it isn't. Turns out, when I give my practice over to someone else--my future students--when I focus on being the best instructor I can be, the best yogi I can be, my life shifts. I eat better (y'all, I only ate half a small fry the other day!). I look better  (I have a waist!). And I feel better. 

There are some super shitty things going on in my life right now, things that impact me deeply and personally, things that any other time would have brought me down to the depths of despair (and to be clear, they did, but, I made it out--so far). But now, with five hours (fml) of yoga practice a day, and several hours of philosophy and methodology, I am learning to stand on my own, and be proud of the person I am. To let go of expectations, to let go of the past, to let go of the fear and accept what is right now. Am I perfect? Heck no! Does that mean I don't deserve love and goodness? Heck no!

(jeezus I've become such a damn hippie, I'm actually embarrassed) 

My point is this: we all make mistakes, we all have a past, but we also all have a future. We cannot be paralyzed by fear, or self doubt (I'm the queen of this), or the actions of others. We are all amazing, wonderful, beautiful beings, and we owe it to ourselves, the Universe, to ice cream and Eddie Redmayne to live a big beautiful life. 

So, boys and girls, let's all make a vow to let go and keep livin--l-i-v-i-n. (you know you heard that in McConaughey's voice)

Now, who's with me? 

Dream the Dream: Les Miserables MOVIE

So, how have we NOT discussed the Les Mis movie? I feel like I've failed you.

ok, so, this is the French poster, but, it's also the UK one. America, wtf?!

I should warn you, I basically refuse to listen to anything bad about it, so, don't even try to change my mind, because it won't happen. Was it perfect? No. Do I wish it was exactly 100% like the stage version? Pretty much. Was it the best thing I've ever seen in my life and could I see it 30 times in the next week and not tire? YUP.

I dragged my family to see it on Christmas day, and cried the whole time. My tears were for several reasons, (ahem, see previous posts), but, once I was able to pull my shit together, seeing his friends be so amazing was just lovely. People I've met, people I care about in a removed remote way--it was really, really fun. And I had random outbursts of laughter too because of it.

My husband crushed it, of course.

24601

I'm obsessed with Marius, which, again, is saying a lot because my loyalty has always been to Enjolras and lately to Brujon and Feuilly.

His freckles? I die. 

Sam and Eddie. Sam is the best Eponine ever. Lucky to have seen her in London!

Fra was amazeballs and, well, Northern Irish. (anyone else think he sounded Scottish?)

Fra, on the left, just holding back Russell Crowe. 

Killian was Irish too and had terrible hair and I love him so much for it.

Killian is in the middle. I haven't stopped laughing. 

Hadley had the best facial hair in the history of the world.

The barricade boys were outstanding and speaks volumes to the amazing talent coming out of London.

Fra, Alistair, Hugh and Killian

My one big complaint was Enjolras's waistcoat--it's the thing. But, I'm moving past it, because, um, have you seen Marius?

This is my point.

Oh! These two nailed it.

My love of Helena Bohnam Carter and Borat knows no bounds

Alright, so, that was basically a love story for the barricades, but, you guys! Oh. And how was Tom Hooper not nominated for anything? It is such a director's movie! Arg.

Y'ALLLLLLLLL! My friend sent me this and all is right with the world

Would you judge me if I told you this was my phone background?

What was your favorite part? Did you cry too? Did Gavroche break your heart? How much did you want to save Fantine? Would you join their crusade, would you be strong and stand with them?

(omg, seriously, going back to London has made me so ridiculously stagey. I'm ashamed! Someone please save me from myself. Where is Emma when I need her?!)

Tuesday giggles

My girl Amy sent me this during one of our marathon text sessions over the weekend and it might be the best thing ever. It keeps cracking me the heck up!

Happy Tuesday and G'day mates!

London, baby! 2013 edition

I was blessed enough to ring in 2013 in my favorite city with one of my favorite people! Miss Molly is finishing out her collegiate career at Cambridge (no big deal or anything), and never needing an excuse to head back to the UK I decided to head out with her an spend a few weeks in London before she started classes.

London has, as of late been a subject of much heartache and pain, but, this trip was about her, about us. It was much needed because it gave me the opportunity to reexamine my beloved city for different reasons.

And ya know what? We had the best bloody time, I can't even tell you!

From finding a new favorite pub, to almost dying in Brighton, driving around Edinburgh, performance art-ing in Camden, sneaking around Notting Hill at all hours, hand jiving with Jay and LK, train dashing, seeing Killian in his skivvies in Billy Elliot (y'welcome), dying over Liam in Les Mis (so sad the cast is gone! Only the amazing Tam Mutu remains, and y'all? He is amazing!) and Harvey Nicks shopping, it was one of the most fun times of my life. Thank you, Molly for experiencing the best of England with me!

Anyways, here are some highlights!

Leaving my dad's house for LONDON, BABY

Molly's and my favorite neighborhood is Notting Hill, so, this is the first stop we made once we got into our hotel!

The place I drag everyone to--the Notting Hill location, obvs

On our way to some NYE rooftop parties in London town

We made sure to see the fireworks, but first, we had to pre game (after Whole Foods take out and New Girl of course!) and my beloved, The Lyric was too crowded so we found a new haunt! Molly ordering herself a beer will forever be one of the funniest things ever. I can't explain it.

My gorgeous NYE date at our new favorite pub, Argyll Arms in the West End

Then I spent the weekend in the English countryside which did nothing to cure me of my UK love....

Afternoon tea in Oxford. Which is NOT Cambridge, but, whatevs

My mate, Alex took me to Warwick Castle for the day where I made friends

Performance art at The Roundhouse

We had a crazy fun weekend of Shoreditch-ing, freezing in Kew Gardens, making friends at Warwick Castle and then a night out in Camden and Covent Garden--we felt like proper Londoners that night!

My mom's family is Scottish, so, although we talked of going to Paris, my desire to see the homeland was stronger and we trekked up to Scotland.

First stop to Edinburgh? York. F me bloody life eh mate!

That time we hiked up Arthur's Seat at like 8AM. Poor life choice. 

Each time Molly had been in Scotland the weather had been awful so she never got to hike Arthur's Seat--we were blessed with amazing weather (for Scotland in January!) so we went. Apparently, we look like ditz idiots and the hotel had a pool going as to whether we would survive or not. I'm still embarrassed and laughing about it.

The view from the top was amazing!

Scotland, I love thee....

New obsession, The Grain Store, Victoria Road, Edinburgh. GO! I am determined to have my wedding reception/rehearsal dinner here. Hugh, you ok with that?

I decided to drive down someone's driveway in Scotland...

Our Edinburgh ride

While in London, we HAD to do the West End thang... duh.

"Solidarity forever!"

Getting ready for some Killian action at Billy Elliot! Homeboy killed it. 

The best night was catching up with my idiot friends when we got back from Scotland. Even if he wasn't in Billy. (evil laugh)

Oh, don't mind me, just walking back from Balan's at 3AM. Damn you, "Les Mis lot"!

Selfie in a mirror at The Lyric. I love that place so hard!

Molly had never been to Covent Garden, naturally I had to show her THE BEST. I think we ate here twice? I love wee little Neal's Yard.

Neal's Yard in Covent Garden, one of my happy places

It's a law that you cannot go to London without seeing Les Miserables. And the film hadn't opened yet, so, we were cracking up the whole time that these folks didn't know how good it is (blog post in the works, obvs!). I'm currently trying to hook Molly up with the stagey Marius.... We shall see....!

Standard Cossette at The Queen's. I know that theatre far too well....

In efforts to really live in England and not just be tourists, we took the chance to hop a train and leave the city for the day. We debated Bath, Dover and Brighton and I'm not entirely sure how Brighton won, but it did and we LOVED it. Of course, London had fairly decent weather and Brighton was rainy and cold, but, it's the coast, so, what did we expect--but it was so fun.

Even if I did drag her on the Crazy Maus rollercoaster on the edge of the Brighton Pier.

We look so happy before our near death experience in Brighton

We also spent a good amount of time goofing around in Soho and West End and Hyde Park--we actually frequented the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park which was hilarious and amazing--it was like being at an American state fair, but in Hyde Park! Probably one of the best nights--we laughed so much!

We were at a state fair in Hyde Park!

Only Molly would find a Blue Moon in Leicester Square

This might be my favorite picture of the trip:

Just hanging out at a New Year's parade in central London. Just like at home!

I am so thrilled that Molly is settled in at Cambridge right now and so excited to see what the future holds for her--great things, to be sure!

I am so lucky to have spent a few weeks in our adopted home with her and can't wait to get back and eat at Nando's, close down The Lyric and go punting in Cambridge. Do you think tomorrow is too soon? ;)

At The Barricade

(Warning: this is deeply personal and it may get deleted, so, please be kind)

I never thought the day would come when I could write this, but, here we are.... Yikes. 

For a long time, I was in love with a barricade boy (an actor in Les Mis on the West End for those of y'all who don't speak stagey), and, for the first time I can say that today, today I am not in love with him. Do I love, adore and care for him? Absolutely. Do I want to be in a romantic relationship with him? Nope. THIS IS HUGE Y'ALL.

Barricade boys (and girls) (he's in this picture but only I know where)

What he and I did have was exceedingly special--when it wasn't a hot mess, that is. He was truly the first man in my life to "get" me. I was 100% myself with him from day one and we just fit. We understood each other. I am not sure if I fell in with him, London, Les Mis, or all three at once, but, suddenly, he was my barricade boy. I was his, he was mine--completely. My swing, Brujon and occasional Feuilly. My Lovely Lady. Later, my gangster with a bad New York accent running political schemes. And then he was nothing. He was no longer mine in Jesus Christ Superstar, nor in workshops for upcoming tours in Spain--nothing-- we didn't belong to one another any longer. 

Even after heartbreak, I kept returning to him, unable to give up what we had and what I hoped we could have (that's a whole other story, but, in the end, for the heartache our staying connected caused, I'm glad I was so dumb because it's been a blessing). I don't doubt that he did love me, and I don't doubt that we are perfect for each other, but, our love wasn't and isn't perfect, and that's why we can't work.

I made a poor life choice and saw him when I was in London a week ago--after numerous fights and arguments I might add--when we showed up at the (stagey jazz) bar to see him, Molly had to smack me because I was shaking and crying. He is in a relationship, and I am kinda sorta maybe seeing someone (don't even get me started--why can't men just commit and accept that I'm his damn girlfriend? I mean, who doesn't want me to be their girlfriend?!), I had no intentions of kissing my Jasper Bloom (thanks, TPG), I just wanted to see the man who holds my heart and finally take it back. But, standing there outside The Phoenix Theatre I wasn't sure I could do it. Molly held my hand and led me into the bar, where, thank god, she saw him first. 

And wouldn't ya know it, I walked in, saw him, and felt NOTHING?! No, really, nothing. 

We had the best night catching up with the old Les Mis lot, chatting with his flatmate, busting into Tommy Steele songs, and eventually hand jiving at 2am ("I just wasted an hour of my life watching something I've seen you do, mate!") I haven't laughed so hard since I don't remember when. We then all headed to Balan's for breakfast at 3am wherein BB stole Jay and Roisin's bags so they'd be forced to join us even though we're pretty sure they just wanted "lovely cuddles" which means Roisin would have owed everyone doughnuts the next morning. We cheers-ed to Molly and her graduate school acceptance, we laughed over his inability to drink vodka and inappropriate drink names that he ordered for his friends. 

He harassed me about not seeing his show yet; noticed my nose ring within seconds and poked me in the face most of the night saying "I can't believe you've done and gotten your nose pierced!", we laughed over Les Mis stalkers, and sparkle shoes for Priscilla. And, because we are fabulous friends, made him pay since he's making double at the moment. (and that's why I told Molly to order herself the expensive champagne--Jay didn't understand how we are friends, ha!)

We hugged many times--he is the best hugger--FYI if any of y'all catch him on tour, get a hug, you won't regret it. And also, he will murder me for saying that. Just tell me and I'll send him a peace offering of Twizzlers. 

It was just like it's always been. Our hugs were the same, our jokes the same. He was the same funny, strong willed goofball I fell in love with. He said things to me that made me cry--things that I will hold in my heart forever. 

I saw him in his how the next night and laughed and cried. I am always so proud of him and I loved seeing him show his amazing dance prowess (even if his voice was not highlighted at all), we held hands and walked back to my hotel talking about old times, and when I'm coming back to see him in Priscilla--which y'all know is going to happen!

We call this, "find Scotty, him, Fra and Jay!". This makes me giggle because I've met or know so many here through him

We laughed over Sondheim DVD's ("Sing Johanna for me, mate!" "'they're retreating!'--I feeeeeel you, Johannnna"--Molly, I can't even think of Sweeney without hysterical laughter), and my love of The Great Race--mostly Jack Lemmon. 

There was talk of Skype dates and we shook on it. A promise to text when I got on the plane the next morning, another hug and we said our goodbyes. And I was deliriously happy. Not because we are together, not because we will ever be together, but because I had time with someone I hold so dear--time for us just like it was--time to laugh with his lot again, and time to be myself. 

Molly said she knew in an instant I would be ok because she saw he and I for who we were--that we are comfortable with each other and that we fit as friends. Which is how we started! 

We've found a way we can be involved in each others lives and maintain the friendship I have so desperately missed. (seriously, he's the only person who's more of a stage geek than me)

So, I've  come back from London with a healed heart, a happy heart. I've reclaimed my city, I've reclaimed my musical, I've reclaimed my heart, and I've regained one of my best friends. 

Well played, London, well played. 

(oh, and I also take solace in the fact that he told me several times how beautiful and or "svelte"--love the Brits--I looked, and he maybe kinda sorta is not as ripped and in shape as he once was. teehee, I win!)

(photos via Les Mis.com)