* or, allow me to ramble because I'm all mushy and running on about 4 hours of sleep and 3 Diet Cokes.
So, one of the bonuses to going back to my hometown for like almost a week is that I get to be all judgey mcjudgersen of the people I grew up with. Oh, and then get all teary eyed because my hometown? Has like FOUR STOPLIGHTS now. Y'all, when the put the stop signs in by the high school it was like someone had committed murder. We were all a good 45 minutes late to school because a bunch of country kids could not figure out a four way stop. Seems like the joke is on us because the stoplight eliminates the need for us country folk to use our brains and just tell the color. Which could still be tricky for some. Yes, Nikki, that was directed at you: olive green is not the same as yellow. But, I love you anyway.
So.
I also had a lot of time to think about relationships--and, as we know, it's always really dangerous when I think about anything other than Target, Hugh Jackman, shoes, Diet Coke and or my DVR. Just, roll with me on this one, k?
Growing up, I remember my mom having friends all over the damn world and marathon phone calls to DC and Salt Lake and Switzerland and I never could understand that. Even through high school, I knew I would leave Small Town USA but I never realized that my friends would thus not be the people I grew up with--shocking!
Granted, I'm still in touch with a select few of those country kids and facebook has helped me reconnect with some once very dear friends, and of course, my closest then are still my closest now (love you Niks).
I went home last week on a mission. To get in touch with my old friends. To grow relationships.
Let's just say, notsomuch. I was emailing another friend who is also from a small town and telling her about how one of my nearest and dearest from high school has gone down a very bad path and it broke my heart--I told her that while we may get judged when we go home, as long as we aren't doing that, I think we're OK. The news put me in a foul mood and I was all sorts of annoyed and hateful about my stupid small minded backwards town. And praised God I left seven years ago. Sadly, I realized that we will never be able to have the relationship we once did.
And then begrudgingly, I went to a Starbucks date with an old friend/a guy I dated for like a millisecond and his little boy. That? Renewed my faith in relationships. It was like no time had passed. We laughed. Talked. His little boy informed me that spilled hot chocolate is "isgusting" (disgusting) and I was filled with the utmost joy in our relationship. We haven't really talked in a long time, but, our friendship and love for one another hasn't changed. He has stayed in our small town, but, he's been successful--raising a son, having a career and growing.
I smiled about that for hours. And then arrived back to my comfy home in Texas to find birthday goodies from wonderful friends from far flung corners of the country and now I understand how my mom had friends all over the world--as you grow, you form new bonds. Near and far. (I realize this isn't earth shattering or anything, but, it was a happy, reaffirming thought to have after a rather anticlimactic trip back to Small Town USA)
I'll never forget those bonds and relationships I have back home, but, I'm so grateful to those that I've created all over. And I will do my best to be a better friend and foster the relationships I created 12 years ago and the ones created 12 months ago.
How about you? Do you have friends all over? Did you ever think you would? Is it ever hard to see your old friends?
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13 comments:
You're a great writer! Love this post!! xo
Great post chica! I relate to this so much!!! Moving to Florida I kept in touch with a select few of my friends from high school but as the years passed those friendships started to fade and I found new ones in FL. Moving back to MI I had grand plans of renewing those old friendships but I found that not all of them were worth rekindling, sometimes you just grow apart and that's ok because I've made SO MANY new friends in my lifetime. Blogging has also given me a whole world of new friends including one that lives a world away in India!!! I'm so thankful and feel blessed for all the friends who have come in to my life and believe in that old saying,
"People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do."
A little side note on that quote; I wrote that in to the "Thank You" card I gave Spike well over a year ago for driving me from Chicago to Michigan after the Marathon. I ended it by saying that I hope our friendship would be the latter... Crazy how life works out eh? <3
Amazing post. I have friends from all over and I think this is the best thing. As long as I have my best friends here, I am happy too!! I love that you had such a great time!! xxxoo
I love this...I too don't live in the same town or state that I grew up in. I wanted out of that place the second I graduated. But I do miss it. I have made friendships from WA...UT...TX (ha!) and it's just awesome! XOXOX Happy December friend. =)
I love this post so much! Being from a small town, I completely understand. It's hard (and easy) to leave and even harder to come back to see what's changed (or hasn't changed). It's hard to see people stay (or get left) behind. But it's really really great to see the people you loved when you were younger grow up and become people you'll be friends with when you're older.
This was such a great post and really got me thinking about the relationships in my life.
Le sigh. Relationships with friends (new and old) are so intricate and deep and complicated and special, I totally agree with you. I've moved ~10 times in my life but I've managed to remain tight with one or two friends from each "stage" of my life. And because of that, I'm the richest person alive :) That, and the internet is awesome for reconnecting casual friends (and making new ones! ie. YOU!)
I'm the same way. I've moved past where I grew up, and in some areas, not a lot is left there in the way of relationships for me. A few? Yes. But not a lot.
In turn, I've developed bonds all over, everywhere I've gone. It can be exhausting, but it's the best blessing.
I'm an Army brat and moved all over. In the end though, I'm glad because I've met so many wonderful people!
Yeah, old relationships can be tricky. My bestest best friend from high school and college has changed so much. I really can't relate to her at all and that makes me sad.
But my friend in D.C. who I visited recently, well, we hadn't seen each other in NINE years and it was like NO time had passed. We keep in touch and even though our lives are in different places, we still really enjoy each other and have to much to talk about!
Some people you just "click" with no matter how many years or how many miles.
I'm a firm believer that sometimes we just outgrow people. Or that we have friends for certain seasons of our lives. And after that season is over, it is NOT a bad thing to necessary have those friendships dwindle. Some people are meant to be in our lives forever. Some, are meant to teach us, guide us, comfort us and leave imprints on our hearts and memories in our souls.
It's still hard to move on from that, though.
This is actually pretty reassuring to me because I'm also from Small Town USA but I shy away from getting together with old friends, just because, really, what do I have in common with them? Most of my high school classmates went to the commuter college nearby, got married and started producing babies. I went to a private college and now are working in a Big City Down South (most people from my hometown don't get farther away than Dallas - 100 miles from home).
I'm glad you were able to reconnect - that makes me think positively about future visits to my hometown. :)
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