And that's all I'm going to say

As know you, the last um, year (?) of my life has been a bit of a nightmare. A wild ride. A "you can't make this up" type situation, followed by something much the same. And in some cases, even worse.

It hasn't always been fun--despite what reading my blog might tell you (honestly, do you want to read a blog where I tell you I didn't get out of bed yesterday and haven't shaved my legs in two weeks? Didn't think so. So, I tell you about the good stuff, because that is just more fun. And yes, at times I share the bad, but, I don't need to be a constant Debbie Downer)--but, it's my life. Mine. I don't claim to be perfect, I don't claim to have not made mistakes. Oh heck no!! I'm living my life and messing up and learning along the way. For me.

The last few weeks have been especially hard for varying reasons. Things were said, things happened, things were learned--it all was very, very hard on me. Lots of tears. Lots of emotions. Lots of FEELINGS.

And this is all I really want to say to "those people", but, of course I can't. Because I am a giant chicken.

Instead I cry because that's all I can do. And, I just hope and pray that we as a people can cease judgement and guilt on one another, that we can actually live the values we preach and live a life of love. 

That's all I'm trying for. 

Each and every day. 

xoxox with love--lots and lots of love,
Shabbs

The time I went all hippie. At nearly 30.

A few of you requested a picture of the nose ring that I talked about in post a bit back, and like a good blogger, I aim to please.

Yes, I'm almost 30 and did something this silly. Judge away!

There is a backstory, of course--my college roommate got one 1,000 years ago, and I always thought they were cute. My BFF has one. Etc, etc. But, it's no secret that I detest my nose--yay Scottish genetics! So I always thought I couldn't pull it off.

Welp, when Molls and I were in Brighton, which is basically England's version of San Francisco, we passed so many little tattoo/piercing places, I told her we should pop in and I'd finally do it--since I was going to be a hippie crunchy granola yoga teacher and all. And she encouraged it of course! Ha. We were tight on time in Brighton and decided we'd rather see the city, if we had time, we'd do it on the way back to the train.

And then, two days later, walking around Soho, I did it. Because I am nothing if not silly and impulsive! Then we had a Whole Foods picnic in our hotel room, saw Les Mis and my girl Sierra Boggess at The Queen's Theatre, and stayed up too late.

Standard.

And that is how this nose hating, Burberry wearing, Princess Kate obsessed, almost 30 year old ended up getting her nose pierced in England. Because WHY NOT?!

Do you have any holiday piercings or tattoos? Any permanent souvenirs?

Also, my parents will disown me. Oops.

Meant to be BFF

I've rambled about my love of Isla before, but hot dog, she and I were meant to be BFF.

I mean look at who she hangs out with:

This is my point. (also she's mid thirties, has two kids, is married to the funniest man alive and looks no more than 25. I need in on her secrets!)

Who's your celeb BFF?

Isla babe, call me, Hugh has my number!  xoxo

Really, really random

Shoooooweeee, this week has kicked my booty y'all. I spent all of Tuesday in bed--literally, I didn't leave my cocoon until after 12pm and then left the house for 45 minutes which was exactly 44.5 minutes longer than I could handle and promptly fell back into sleep and cry mode.

I inherited my mother's hair, feet, skin, NOSE and genetics for migraines, so, thanks for that, Mom. I was so sick, it was just miserable. Made even more fun because I live alone and I feel so guilty asking anyone for help--don't worry, I have since been yelled at by, well, everyone for not calling them. I just never know when it's appropriate to ask for help ya know? Like, should I be vomiting blood? Apparently, no. Lesson learnt.

I am feeling better, so I'm gonna go hang out with my friend Kim and her bambino tonight, and then tomorrow my bestie boo, Ro is wooing me with Thai and Les Mis. She knows the way to my heart, that one. Which is why she's my bestie. (basically people just try to keep me busy so I don't cut myself with a razor or something)

Also, I'm super sad because Molls and I worked out a plan for me to head back to England when she's on break, but I couldn't get the time approved off work even though I'm technically not working that week anyway, I'm supposed to be around "in case" (we are opening the new studio). Harumph. But it's not like I can upset my boss--and she's rad. And I love my job. Molls, of course is piiiiiiiissssed. Oops.

But, that's not keeping me from racking up the frequent flier miles! Next week to Denver for work and then the following week DC to run a race with my Madrid sister--eeek! I haven't seen her since November, which is an actual crime in all 50 states!

So, that's what's going on over here in Casa de Crazy. What's up with y'all?

Oh, and gratuitous picture from the Oscars of my husband being such a dang gentleman. Swoon.

If we could just clone him, that'd be great. I need a man. A man, not a boy--a man. Preferably one with an Australian accent and green eyes.

So, these things exist

1. The Kate Middleton Jimmy Choo shoes, but in PINK

There aren't words for how much these need to be in my closet RIGHT THIS SECOND. I mean, I love the ones Kate wears but y'all, pink. Let's be real.

2. A Redmayne brother.

OH HOLY HELL. Wonder if he likes girls in fancy shoes? (since we know Eddie doesn't)

I know, I know, pink Jimmy Choo's and another person with Redmayne genes--it's like the hitting the damn jackpot!

(HRH Princess Amazingpants pictures from here and here)

When I Grow Up

I want to be Jessica Chastain.

Woman is a damn goddess. I'm gonna need her lipstick color!

And then marry one of these men....

He's so pretty I want to cry!

He cannot look bad, it's a universal impossibility

I realize that I am single so I can't exactly talk smack, but, Eddie, Hugh, really, REALLY?

Hannah. You're at the OSCARS with EDDIE REDMAYNE. Do your damn hair!

I try so hard to hate her, but she is my Sister Wife, so...

(but honestly, you know this makes me love them even more. Sweet, regular women--and have you heard Hugh talk about Deb? It just melts my soul)

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE SINGING? Oh sweet baby jesus.

Tribute To The Musicals - C Zeta Jones, Jennifer Hudson & The Cast Of Les Mis - Oscars 2013 - Video Dailymotion

As sad as I am about my husband and The Movie not winning last night, I am thrilled for Daniel Day Lewis and Argo--my major upset is Chastain. Zero Dark Thirty, oh my gosh. Ya know, cause DDL and Jessica really care how I feel about their performances.

And then Jennifer Lawrence tripped and HUGH saved her. Typical Hugh.

Ben and Jen make my heart happy--and look how cute!!!

This post has no point. I have a migraine and didn't teach this morning. I want to watch Eddie and Hugh sing again.

That's all.

Who did you love? Who did you hate? We all hated Kristen Stewart, right?

What I Would Have Said

If you had told me one year ago, what my life would look like today, I would have told you "you are drunk!".

If you'd said that I'd be a certified yoga teacher, a Pure Barre instructor and planning my fifth trip back to England in 16 months, I'd have told you again, "you are drunk".

My life surely isn't what I thought it would be (don't make me start singing "I Dreamed A Dream"--because I WILL), but goodness me, I absolutely love it. It's mine.

A year ago, I knew my life was changing, I knew it--I felt it, I couldn't stop it. But I had no idea that it would lead me here. There have been so many hot messes, heartbreaks, heartaches, crazy stories and hilarious mistakes over the last year, don't get me wrong, but where it has led, where I am now, is essentially where I never knew I always wanted to be. Hopefully that sounds less crazy than I think it does.

I've found something I truly love with every fiber of my being, I'm spending my days sharing my craft with others and I just love teaching, I love shouting "arms up, chest up, legs up--lift!" (that's the cue for full locust, fyi) and seeing the hard work of my yogis. I also love walking into the studio to find my class busting out the Harlem Shake.

Having a goof off with Hannah, Diana, Laura and Emily in headstand

I've learnt that England is where I belong, where my heart will always reside. I don't know that I'll ever end up there permanently, but I know that when I'm there, I am home. I know that my Molls will be there for a few years which means I can stay with her, ha!

I know that it comforts my soul and brings me back down to who I am. I know that some of my greatest loves are there (Molls, our extended UK family, etc). And I'm anxiously plotting my return to the comfort of her flat in Cambridge and the late nights at The Lyric and early mornings in Hyde Park.

Just found this shot of us leaving LAX. I love you, Molls!!

Found this on Pinterest. Been there, done that, got the tshirt. Or is this a "saw it on Pinterest and did it" thing? Bwahaha.

I've found friends that I know were put into my life at the right time because God knew I'd need them.

Like this gal! My angel of music. She completes my soul. 

It's been a real roller coaster ride, and I could have never expected the things I've seen, done and lived through, but man, here I am, alive, in one piece and with so much more ahead of me.

So, I guess the point of this post is to remind us all that even in the darkest hours--and I know I will have many more--even in those moments, there is goodness to be found. Be brave, be strong and hold on! We got this!

xoxox

Harlem Shake

So, we've all seen the Harlem Shake videos on YouTube, right?

Well, last week I walked into yoga school after a meeting and my idiot yogis were making a Harlem Shake video. I about died when I walked into Ky dancing with a skeleton (his name is Nigel, fyi) and Jordan rolling across the floor.

Yeah, so this is what happens when we practice 5 hours a day--we loose our ever loving minds--and create amazing crap for YouTube.

I'm biased, but, I had to share!



Namaste from us to you!

Be My Valentine?

Last year I went all crazy and made cookies, and candy and EVERYTHING PINK for my friends and family, and this year, meh, I sent a few cards. In my defense, I've had no time and I spend 87.64% of said time with a bunch of yogis, so my insanely delicious cupcakes would be lost on those no refined sugar hippies. No treats for you!

And, let's be honest, being single and broken hearted doesn't really bode well for a holiday built around romance and love. Want to talk about love, let's discuss how much I love my TV, my bed and my Diet Coke. But, we won't, because that's really, really sad.

However! However, I do have a Valentine this year. He's a bit young, but, he's the most handsome guy you'll ever see; I've already met his family and I think they like me (man, I hope they do!)--he laughs at my jokes, was introduced to Chipotle on my birthday and LOVED it--and the last time we chatted, he tried to kiss me through the phone, so, I mean, I think I can claim him as my Valentine.

Want to meet him? Here he is!

My nephew, sweet little Mac.

My best friend Sara is the queen of cards, I tell you. Her getting knocked up and having this little nugget is seriously like the best thing ever for the Postal Service. If there is a holiday, the kiddo is on a card. Which is amazing and awesome because a) I love mail that is not bills b) um, you've seen how cute he is, right? and c) I love that she includes ME and sends ME cards.

She's the bestest bestest thing ever and I couldn't be luckier to call her a friend. I am spoiled rotten because of her and goodness me, I love that dang kid of hers with my whole heart. I just feel really bad for when he grows up because he'll have his crazy over protective mother (Sara, let's just be honest here) and then crazy over protective Auntie Ally. Unless he's dating William and Kate's daughter or something, pretty sure we aren't going to be pleased. ha! And again, she gave me the sweetest nephew I could ever imagine!

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours. I'm sorry that I have the best Valentine in all the land, but, I'm really not that sorry--I'm not sharing.

I love all you lovely readers, all those who comment, and those who don't, who tweet me, or those who just give good thoughts. Thank you for putting a smile on my face and for coming to my little corner of the internet.

Wishing you a very sweet day, filled with love, laughter and joy--from wherever it may come!

xoxo

Back at it

Told ya I'd be back to my non whiny blogging right quick!

I can't promise I won't whine anymore, I mean, it's Valentine's Day week and other crappy stuff, but, I'm going to at least try to pepper some normal in with the bad. I'm still super pissed off, sad, broken hearted and basically cried the whole of yesterday, but, whatever, let's talk about pretty happy things! Fake it till you make it and all.

This is super hodge podge, FYI.

I picked up this candle a few weeks ago because I actually wanted the London Calling candle--act surprised--but, I didn't buy it because London to me, will always smell like the Barricade Boy, and this candle does not smell like him.

But you guys? I fell in LOVE LOVE LOVE with this. BBW White Barn Renew & Refresh No. 3

I need it in every single room of my house. It's fresh and floral and clean and oooommmmggggg. I see this obsession getting out of hand really quickly.

I also used some $$ that had been burning a hole in my pocket to bring home this adorable little dress.

It's whimsical and cute and FUN. Methinks it will be a perfect "first date dress", but, you know, first I have to get asked out on a date.

As I'm sure you know, Amazon saves your searches and purchases and makes recommendations for you. While I was buying ALL THE YOGA BOOKS it recommended Les Miserables: From Stage to Screen--so I tossed it in my cart along with anatomy for yoga, aruyveda with yoga and went on my merry way. (yogic medicine and showtunes--sure)

It arrived yesterday and I cannot contain my stagey geek side. BB's friends are all in and it just reminds me of him and our friendship--in a happy way and I just love it and it reminds me of my mom and how much we loved Les Mis and made me smile big big time.  And it has posters and Hugh Jackman and stories! It's like the musical theater bible.

If you are a stagey geek like me, you need this book!!

And while we're discussing Les Miserables, there is also this:

Also? Mr. Sunshine is on Amazon Instant video. It's basically all Chandler all the time. I really wish ABC hadn't cancelled it--his best work since Friends!!

That's about all I've got for today. How are you all doing? Anything exciting I need to know about? I didn't watch the Grammy's, I was too busy crying--how'd they turn out?

50 Shades of (Being Meredith) Grey

I alluded to it last week, but, not shockingly, my wee heart has had some troubles. In short, I felt like Meredith Grey in her whiny needy "pick me, choose me, love me" stage and it sucked--in the end, I did want him to pick me, to be brave enough to try again, and to try with me. I don't really want to talk about it, I mean, it took me however long to be able to talk about the Barricade Boy, so, no, not there yet (although, BB meant a great deal more, blah, blah). It's hard--always is. And made all the worse by Valentine's Day. And the ex getting married this weekend. FML.

So, I'm struggling. Like I said, even yogis get the blues.

And I can cling to all I have, and all that's ahead, and I am, but, sometimes it's ok to be sad--it's a human emotion and we aren't human if we don't welcome the good and the bad (is that yoga hippie enough for you??). Also doesn't mean I don't want to hole up in a movie theater with ten pounds of Twizzlers, enough Diet Coke to kill an elephant and watch Les Mis again and again, cause I do--but, I won't. Cause that's like legit crazyville. And I'm only medium crazyville. For now.

Instead, I will cling to this little ditty my cousin sent me ages ago:

And hey, hey God, yeah, preferably this one:

I have no words. Other than CHEEKBONES, FRECKLES, HAIR AND HE SINGS

Please and thank you.

(thanks y'all for hanging with me, I promise we'll be back to Anthro, Burberry and stupid shit in two shakes of a lamb's tail!)

Grumpy Thursday

I apologize in advance, but, man, I got some stuff to say!

1. If you are a size 00 in lululemon,  you are absolutely not allowed to complain to me about feeling "fat". Especially with a giant rock on your finger. This is how I feel about a new girl in yoga. Go back to Pretty Pretty Princess land, this mere mortal is not prepared for your type yet!

2. My ex is getting married in 9 days. Ask me how I feel about that. Well, actually, you probably don't want to ask me.

3. I am living in Meredith Grey "pick me, choose me, love me" land. Men cannot commit and it is driving me bonkers. Doesn't help that I'm bloody crazy about the fool. Ooof.

4. Jeremy Jordan on Smash makes things mildly better. I have strong distain for his character thus far, but, him as a person, I do love oh so much (stagey nerd alert, stagey alert!)

5. Molls accepted her letter to Cambridge FOR REAL. Which means my baby girl is a true and proper Brit for the next few years, which also means I have a place to stay--holla! I was gonna buy her something, but, I think she needs to stalk Eddie Redmayne at an alumni event and then we're even for the Burberry I gave her at undergrad graduation, right?

6. So, uh, Hugh Jackman look alikes do not do online dating. You know who does? Hermit trolls. Who probably live with their mothers. There needs to be some sort of filter like "unless you are a 7+ on the Hugh Jackman scale, don't bother contacting me". This also relates to #3 and if this idiot would just take me off the market and I wouldn't be in online dating hell (I'm only looking, ya know, just in case. And it's not even worth it, y'all)

7. I've been so busy I haven't set foot in a mall since I started yoga training. I'm a little concerned. Pretty sure American Express is as well.


Welp, that's about all I've got. Sorry this isn't sunshine and roses today--even the yogis get the blues.

What's bugging you? Any rants you wanna get off your chest? Let's hear it!