So, last night I had to do some spy work via my job, and I wasn't really looking forward to it because lying is not something I love to do (I realize this clashes with my 'reasons I should be a spy', but, whatever).
But, I had no choice so I sucked it up and put on a happy face. Let me just tell you, the lovely people from a rival had me like putty in their hands--I was ready to pack up and move to Arkansas. Free tuition? And you're going to pay me? And I get a guaranteed job? Sign me the heck up.
If I had any desire to work in those specific industries, you can bet your bottom dollar I would have signed in blood for that deal. Yes, even leaving behind my beloved house--kids, that's how desperate things are around here. I'm willing to go back to school and move to Arkansas. Who am I? (not that I have anything against Arkansas, I actually quite like it, I just can't imagine leaving my house, my city and my life here)
On that note, since I was so awesome at my sneaky spy skills, I'm pretty sure that's the field I'm cut out for.
Watch out Michael Westen.
1. I'm nondescript--I mean, really, who's going to to suspect a little readheaded girl? No one. Obviously, I'm innocent.
2. I'm tough. I took kickboxing for like 6 months (which automatically makes me a badass). I could roundhouse your ass. I mean, I might be short, and not particularly fast, but, I bet I could outrun a terrorist or bad guy. I mean, can they run 26.2 miles? Probably not.
3. I enjoy foreign travel, dressing up and whatnot. I'd be happy to learn to languages and tackle accents. Just sayin'.
4. I might have gluten and lactose sensitivities, but, I'm willing to pretty much eat anything, so, I'd be fine in the mountains of Afghanistan or whatever.
5. My dad is a chemist and I like to cook, thus, I'm pretty sure I could come up with poisons and explosives and stuff that the others guys wouldn't expect (poisoned warm chocolate chip cookies, anyone?).
6. My dad? Also a pyrotechnic. I'm good with explosives. I could figure out C4.
7. I like fancy cars. I'm willing to drive an Aston Martin for the team.
8. I could live pretty much anywhere (except Siberia, don't send me to Siberia).
9. I'm a quick learner--for real. And a good memory.
10. James Bond, Jason Bourne, Michael Westen, anyone? Sign me up.
See, obviously, I'm overqualified. I'm not really one for office jobs anyway.
Where's the dotted line?
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7 comments:
You're hired as our official internal spy for the Fashion Law Firm. We'll dress you up in Manolos and send you out to spy on the designers and models. You might have to sip champagne and attend photo shoots, but it's all in a days work. Welcome to the team, Agent Ally.
Ha ha. My BFF and I are pretty good spies as well.
About 8 years ago we spied on a friend of ours and found out he was having an affair. Not a good ending to that story, but still. We were good.
we're like two peas in a pod when it comes to spying.
you seem totally overqualified, though i thought redheads tended to stand about a bit, no? am i wrong on this?
though your six months of kickboxing training seems to amply make up.
i'll have my people call your people.
LMAO! I so needed this post just now!
I used to have to do a TON of snooping at my old job (when I did collection law)... I even got to hire a real PI one time! AND I repo'd a fleet of Hummers! That was a good day.
hahaha, i love this!! you know i used to want to be a spy:), seriously, I did. I agree, I don't like lying either, but if it's for an important cause then i could do it, right? oh, we could be quite the team girl! (don't know if I'm willing to eat anything, you could do that part, and I could take the lead on something else!)
we're like two peas in a pod when it comes to spying.
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