Let me explain, in high school I didn't even know what a sorority was (I mean, I did, but, well, whatever). No one I knew was Greek, I had no idea. Had noooo desire to be Greek. I was more of a "can't we all be friends" type (read: closet hippie). Plus, I was really scared of the idea of hazing.
Enter college. A college in the South(ish). A fancy snotty people college. OMG, OMG, OMG, I must be in a sorority. OMG, OMG, OMG. Must look cute every single day. Must make "friends" (since you weren't allowed to actually be friends) with every single sorority girl I see. OMG! I would have jumped off the Brooklyn bridge into a sea of fire if that's what these people wanted me to do. No joke.
And my roommate's cousin was a member of (enter most popular sorority of your choice here) and we were sooooo going to be pledge sisters together and I was already friends with a girl on my rowing team who was also in said sorority and OMG the girl I was with at the meet and greet is from California too (shocking, I know). Soooo meant to be.
Fast forward three months later, my mom died, I missed rush, had to be in a sorority sooo badly that I did spring extended bidding and I think we can all agree that was a mistake. Hated sorority life like you would not believe (although, I did meet my best most amazing friend thanks to it, hi love!).
So, at the end of the day, I'm not a sorority girl. Just not meant to be a group setting like that (also, why I'm scared to death of joining Junior League and my co-workers are driving me batty to join). Just not for me. And honestly, I'm a teensy bit jealous of people that had awesome sorority experiences and are still close with their sisters--I wish I'd had that. But, anyways.
Fast forward several years and I'm a married lady living in a respectable neighborhood with an optional HOA and everything. And I want to get to know my neighbors and have playdates with their kids (you know, when we get around to procreating and all) and bake cookies and the whole nine. I'm such a grown up. And there's even a women's club! Score! I'll get to meet people.
And then because I'm a commitment phobe, I never go to the meetings (even though they have my $50) and I never go to anything because I'm scared of everything and everyone and I never go. And I know exactly .05% of my neighbors (and refer to them by names such as 'angry man' and 'cute old guy with the dogs').
So, when I get an e-mail asking for co-hostesses for the holiday party I think "this is perfect! I can cook! I can party! I'll meet a lot of people at once and wow them with my awesome baking skills, and I'll be all friendly and co-hostessing". So I sign up. Because obviousy this is perfect.
And then there's a set menu. And because I don't check my e-mail 500 times a day or have a Crackberry, all the items I've ever even heard of on the menu are taken and I have to cook pickled shrimp.
It's like being initiated, I'm guessing. I passed, because everyone ate the shrimp (and my kitchen still smells like vinegar) and the main hostess is holding my Santa platter hostage which I can only assume is some sort of weird hazing ritual in which I must drive by everyone's house wearing only jeans and a bra and then the platter will be returned. Or something like that.
When I show up to the party, I'm wearing a black dress, black boots and fancy Anthro necklace--I think I look pretty darn fancy. I am wrong. I am a shlep. It's totally like rush. I'm getting the up and down from the other hostesses and I'm pretty sure I failed that test--considering my wedding ring is not 5.8 carats, I'm not blonde and I don't frequent a tanning salon.
Yet, I still think I'm "in" because everyone hugged me and told me they were glad to meet me at the end of the night (which was 11:35PM, by the way)--but maybe that was just the booze talking?
I'm still not sure what I've gotten myself into, but, hey, at least I know a few of the women who live in the neighborhood.
I guess I'll have to wait and see if I ever get that platter back....
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12 comments:
Good on you for trying the HOA gals out! I can so empathize - I get ambitious about joining things like this, and then can't quite bear to take the first step of actually committing to it (aside from Jr. League, which has overall been a positive forme).
I'm inhaling more of your yummy peppermint bark as I type this, by the way. HOA lady acceptance may be as easy as leaving some of your baked goods on each of their doorsteps, seriously!
I'm glad the pickled shrimp went well! They really are one of my favorite things. I was not in a sorority at Georgia, as I went straight from tour with Phish to a very intense Southern rush. It was pretty overwhelming. 90% of my best friends from college were in sororities though.
I have a lot of best girl friends (I had 13 b-maids- I am tacky), but sometimes large groups of femlaes completely overwhelms me. It can be exahausting.
I have a lot of the same feelings as you do about sorority life...but it was NEVER for me. I've never been a girl that has had a ton of friends, especially girl friends..and having someone tell me where to live, who I could live with, when I had to get up, what I was doing every weekend, and what I had to wear...well I didn't see that as fun :)
But I am a little envious of the friendships that others have established through the sororities. But, I have some good friends too...so who cares!
I just joined the JL this year and I have yet to decide if I like it. The women in my group are nice enough, but it's not like we hang out or anything. And I am so sick of driving all over creation for meetings after meetings. The times I have actually done something through the league to benefit the community and not just my vino habit=1.
But I am wishing you the very best of luck...and totally commend you for putting yourself out there! Oh, and I hope you get your platter back :)
LMAO! Seriously... that was hilarious! I am scared of people too, as in B.o.B MADE me talk to a group of runner's that we passed once out on a run because she said I needed to get into a running group around here. Fast forward to now: still not in a running group. I love runner's and I love meeting runner's but the group setting scares the day lights out of me!!! You'll have to keep us posted on the platter situation! :)
this is hysterical... i think you're definitely "in" and well on your way to being a classy stepford wife!
as far as the pickled shrimp... i'm severely allergic to shellfish and sulfites (i.e. vinegar, wine, etc.) so i wouldn't have been "in" and would have had to have canceled my co-hostessing duties. i'm much more of the baking, betty crocker type. ugh.
We don't have sororities in the Uk but I always thought iot sounded kind of fun. Keep us posted
Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com/
Omg.. dolly!! Ok... first I was a sorority girl... loved very few and far between girls in it... now I am a junior leaguer and I love most of the girls I have met. But when I join a community they better watch out if they dont like me, and p.s. they better watch it if they dont like you either... bc I am blonde with a big carat ring and none of that stuff matters to me... I will buy you a new plate!! love you xxxooo
Way to go for taking that leap into hostessing! I can see that would be nerve-wracking. But don't worry, I'm sure these ladies don't have the courage to run marathons and be as sweet and caring as you. :)
You are fantastic!
LMAO!!! I so feel your pain. After living here for three years I barely know any neighbors and refer to them as "lady who lets her dog crap on my lawn and not pick it up", "nose picker", etc. etc. etc. LOL!
Glad it was a semi success though!!
Honey, I am with you like whoa on this!
I had the same. exact. sorority. experience.
And I've shied away from every other similar female grouping since.
Even if they aren't judging me for reals, I constantly feel like they are.
It kills me, but I can't take it!
Just so you know, I still don't know what Junior League is, even though I see it mentioned on several blogs. Never rushed, never joined a sorority, still managed to live a happy life (I know, shocker).
NEVER JOIN JUNIOR LEAGUE. NEVER.
i love you so much for not joining.
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