At The Interval

(Interval pic of me and my bestie at Our Show dealing with Our Own Issues--thanks Boubill and Schoenberg)

Interval, gap, break, intermission--whatever you want to call it--that's where I am right now. The first act of my life has wrapped and now I'm sitting in the dressing room waiting for my curtain call.

Only thing is, Act Two hasn't been written yet and I've no idea where to start. But, it's my turn to write my own story (unless Andrew Lloyd Webber wants to help a sister out, because dude can write some good shit), to be the leading lady in my own life. To not settle. To only accept butterflies. To live a whole big life. To challenge myself--which, let's be honest, is the hardest.

The interval is scary. I do not like it here. I am unsure, I am scared, I am anxious, I am jittery. I'm the most impatient person ever and I want Act Two to start already, for the love!

The interval is where we reflect on Act One and anticipate what is to come (or go stand in line and get a drink and or fight for the restroom--let me tell you about the time I got locked in the restroom at the Queen's.... Well, that's basically the whole story--but, being trapped in a 100 year old bathroom with no A/C and hundreds of people outside? Bit scary). Anyways, Act Two is always the best right, the best is yet to come and all that? (don't believe me? Watch The Epilogue from my favorite show--I'm certain it's the most moving piece of musical theatre ever written)

Act One was pretty great, it certainly had it's moments, it had some style (quick! name that musical!)--although the ending song was a bit melancholy to be sure, but, I am certain that Act Two will be filled with joy and adventure and all the best in this life. Because I am going to find it, seek it out, surround myself with it and LIVE damn it.

So, I thank you for sticking by me at the interval. I know we'll make Act Two amazing.

After all, to love another person is to see the face of God (you knew it was going to happen).



"Do you hear the people sing, lost in the valley of the night, it is the music of the people who are climbing to the life

For the wrenched of the earth there is a flame that never dies, even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise

They will live again in freedom in the valley of the Lord, they will walk behind the ploughshare, they will put away the sword, the chain will be broken and all men will have their reward

Will you join in our crusade, who will be strong and stand with me, somewhere beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see

Do you hear the people sing, say do you hear the distant drums, it is the future that they bring when tomorrow comes.... Tomorrow comes!

(and, my friends, tomorrow will come)

Labor Day in St. Louis

This is long overdue, but.....

I hopped a plane to St Louis over the Labor Day holiday and spent a few glorious days snuggling my nephew, catching up with my soul sister and fellow H Jackman lover and of course, shopping. I feel like we always get ourselves into a bind with the shopping when we're together but, we can't help it!!

I so needed a weekend out of Dallas, which I know sounds horrible as I was just in Montana, and London, and !, but, the last few weeks had really, really kicked my ass and I just wanted to be in the arms of those who love me. I can honestly say it's the only time I haven't cried myself to sleep in ages--maybe I was just too tired to cry, or too happy. Either way, doesn't matter. I slept. AND there were no tears. 

Seriously, just sitting on their sofa, eating Thai (mmmmm red curry) and watching Love Actually the night I arrived was the happiest I'd been in a long while, no joke. I felt SAFE and loved--it was just what I needed.

Sara took me out to see The Lion King on Saturday and her husband hooked us up with a limo for the night, which was a huge surprise and SO kind. 

My best girl and me!

We had a lovely dinner and a great time at the show which was housed in one of the most beautiful theaters I've ever been to--seriously, check this out! I die. 

Sunday we just chilled, ate, played with the baby and went shopping, duh. We hit Nordstrom, J Crew and Anthropologie, or you know, the essentials.

I'd been flirting with this dress at Anthropologie for ages and finally bit the bullet. It's very retro, which I adore--very Rachel McAdams in The Notebook, which, HELLO, me. Me, me. 


Then THIS beauty I randomly fell I'm love with. Totally different from anything I own but i looooove it. I'm picturing it with nude fishnet tights, black pumps and my Pippa-esque orange coat in then winter. I think I should relive Broadway Birthday Extravaganza 2011 and I shall wear this. I MEAN COME ON. 

Both perfect for dates, I just, ya know, need someone to take me on a date. I'm totally creating a mail order husband company, I feel this is an untapped market. Surely there is some hot foreigner who WANTS to marry me for a Green Card? I'm willing to do this.  

Well, alright. That post was random. 

Precious baby Mac!

But I didn't buy any shoes or handbags in St. Louis, so GROWTH. 

Oh, Sara bought these. I wanty want want. But I didn't. I AM SO STRONG.

Three Sleeps

Three sleeps until I hit the road (er, air?) for Costa Rica!

I'm maddeningly excited about the trip, albeit a little scared. I don't speak Spanish, but, enough to get through customs I hope.

The last time I was in a Spanish speaking country my life was so incredibly different than it is now, and I get teary and weak just thinking about it.

Thinking about all I believed and hoped for back then. I suppose that a holiday to a Spanish speaking country is a bookend to everything? Who knows.

I know I am a lucky one. I know that we'd all chose our problems over anyone else's, but, doesn't mean ours don't suck. And sometimes one just needs a break, a trip off the radar to forget, to recharge and sleep. For the love, I will sleep!! No internet to suck me in, no TV to distract me and who knows about phone coverage.

So, anyway, Costa Rica, ahoy! Also, I'm allergic to mosquitoes--I did not plan this out very well. ha!

And, when all else fails, let's just remember that THIS happens on Christmas day (it got pushed back here in the U.S--don't even get me started)--which is what, 98 sleeps? Y'ALL.

So I did

It's no surprise if you've been around here, well, ever, that I'm in a major funk (read: so depressed that if I get out of bed and wash my face it's deemed a successful day). It totally sucks. I'm sick to death of it. I'm sick to death of forcing my friends to listen to me cry and complain 24/7. I'm sick of crying and complaining 24/7, I really am. And I am trying my damndest to pick myself up and get back on my feet.

It's damn hard y'all.

 I have good days and I have bad days. My heart is broken, my soul is broken. And I keep getting my little heart hurt--I go full force into everything I do, and it backfires approximately 99.99% of the time--awesome. So, that's where I'm currently living. FML.

After a few days of dreaming about a Mexican surf weekend and then debating just going home for a few days (which, no), I was pleasantly surprised to see a travel discount email in my inbox this afternoon labeled "Yoga and Healing Wellness Retreat". This is exactly what I need!!
I mean, wellness, healing, YES PLEASE SIGN ME UP. It's like going all Eat, Pray, Love, but, without going to India--which I'd love to do, but, not yet.

So. I'm going here

At the end of the month.

Might be the most stupid and spontaneous thing I've ever done. Only for a few days--just enough to get in some tanning, some yoga, some meditation and some off the radar relaxation (no internet at the retreat!). I need to shut off my mind, and shut everything and everyone out-- just for a little bit. (don't worry, I still love all y'all, it's not you I'm shutting off!! Promise!)

I can't wait.

Hopefully I will come home with a full heart, a rested soul and a new lease on this brilliant life and we're all so lucky to have. It's my turn to take charge of my life, wipe the tears and LIVE.

(images from here and here)

I wanna rock

Well, actually, I wanna party.

I'm that girl that always imagines these great parties and how excellent of a hostess I will be and blah, blah. But, I never do. I think "well, who would I invite? Would people actually come?" and then I panic so I don't actually do anything and then it's December 31st and I'm sitting at home watching Dick Clark (no more!) all alone and wishing I'd planned a damn party.

My mother was a party hosting machine. I need to just DO IT.

Anywhoodle, that's not really the point here. The point is: if I DID ever host a fabulous dinner party, who would I invite (besides you lovely bloggies, of course)? Ren and I discuss this all.the.time and our quiet classy dinner party quickly evolves into a wild night of singing with Reba, Pattie LuPone and Micheal Crawford, laughing with the entire cast of Friends and Bridesmaids, getting style lessons from Vera Wang and getting motherly advice from Bette Midler. It's kind of an eclectic group. Think it'd be a fun night indeed!

That said, I think I may be able to widdle my list down to a few. Here goes!

Reba McEntire because, well, y'all have seen "Reba", yes? And also, hello, Fancy? Done.

Patti LuPone. Mainly so I could shout "Shut up Patti LuPone!" a la Jack on Will&Grace.

Hugh Jackman. Obvious reasons.

Colin Firth. Again, obvious reasons.

Melissa Joan Hart. I'm pretty sure her character on Melissa & Joey is me. We'd be BFF, clearly.

F. Scott Fitzgerald. He'd document the evening in the sweeping manner that only he can.

Grace Kelly. We'd need a Princess of course! And I mean, don't you just want to talk to her and ask her about her wedding and about Cary Grant and Old Hollywood?

Ramin Karimloo. I haven't waxed poetic about my love of this wildly gifted man in a while, but, I suppose as we approach the one year since I saw him in Phantom 25 he's on my mind again. And also, I would get the dirt on a mutual friend we have, DUH. He, Hugh, Patti and Reba could sing--I mean, hello, I'd make a fortune off that recording.

Tory Burch. She could dress us all and seems like a freaking cool chick.

I'm sure there are 17,000 people I could list here, but, that's my short list for now.

Who would you invite to your dinner party? Oh! And what would you serve? I haven't even thought of that!

Sparkle

Hope y'all had a lovely Labor Day weekend--I did! I headed my little self to St. Louis to see my best girl and her little baby man, but, now we are back to reality. Womp womp.

Luckily, I have a little sparkle to get me through.

Well done, J Crew, well done!!

How was your weekend? What did y'all do?

No mediocrity allowed

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And I will not settle for anything less.

Even if it means the greatest love affair of my life is between myself and a pair of Valentino's.

Fall Scents

I know it's still August, but, college football starts today and I think we can all agree that is the unofficial start of fall. Even if it's still 102 out. I am going to make it fall dang it!

There is probably nothing I love more than the smell of fall.

If you've ever been to my house you know I'm a candle whore. I love burning candles and certainly cycle through seasonal scents, but my absolute favorite, which I burn all year is Ember from Pier 1. It smells homey and warm--perfect for fall.

Last night I busted out the pumpkin spiced cake candles too. I mean, if we're going to do it, we're going all out.


I also adore "fall" smelling perfumes although I think I tend to wear those all year too. Perhaps it's because the deeper perfumes always remind me of Hollywood bombshells and let's be honest, this little redhead would sell her right arm to be bombshell sexy--so, perfume it is! ha!

Trish #9 or Sexy 9 are my all time go to scents and I loooooove them. I've broken more bottles of 9 in the past few months than I care to admit and my Nordstrom card has had to bear the brunt of that, but still!

But my current fave is the new Burberry Body.  

OMG. Cousin and I got samples when we spent my life savings on Bond Street and we smelled so damn good that we went back the next day and bought the full sized bottles. Seriously, we were sitting at a play and kept leaning over to smell each other. Is that creepy? We're kind of creepy. Oops.

So, there you have it. My favorite fall smells. All I need is to start making some wassail and it will be a fall festival up in here! (but my saucepan is missing, le sigh)

What are your favorites??

(images via Pier 1 and Nordstrom)

Obsessed

Y'all.

I cannot stop listening to the Once Musical soundtrack. Like, it's all repeat, all the time and I have approximately 17,000 Pandora stations for it.



I don't know if it's my inherent love of folk music, my obsession with all things Ireland (takes place in Dublin), or the fact that when I saw it things changed in my life forever (no, not ready to talk about it, but, a few of you know the significance of That Night) (not trying to be cryptic or exclusive, it's just something I am not ready to really get into--soon!), or that the lyrics just speak to me right now, but, I'm wholly and utterly obsessed.

It might be my most favorite thing in life right now and I'd give my right and left arm to see it again--it really was that good. (also, to which I say, suck it 2011-2012 Queen's Theatre cast) (one day I'll stop being so bitter, but, we aren't there yet) (I'm full of weird "inside" things today, again, sorry)



Good news is, I'm going to NYC for my birthday (again, HA!) and it's touring next summer, so, I will happily follow it around the country like a creeptastic little groupie.

Who knows, maybe by then I will have my life together and it won't be such an emotional show for me, and I'll go back to being heartbroken over Les Mis. We can only hope!

But, seriously y'all, download the cast album, it is beautiful and if you have occasion to be in NYC go see it FOR THE LOVE OF DIET COKE GO SEE IT!!

Guess I better not do any lunges!

Two 'Friends' quotes in one week--you're welcome.

You know the episode Where No One Is Ready and Chandler hides Joey's underwear so Joey wears everything he owns? "Hey, opposite--is opposite!"

My DVDs go missing, I buy a TV bigger than me. Exhibit A.

Then, I buy Wolverine on BluRay.

And let me just say, 64 inches of Hugh Jackman in high def? Never hurt anyone.

Related, I'm a very mature grown up. I know, I know.

I'd feel a bit more douchey about the whole situation if I wasn't enamored with my Netflix app and staying up late watching Strictly Ballroom on instant stream and then approximately 45 episodes of Psych. (but I still do feel semi douchey, don't worry)

Now, who wants to come over for movie night?!

(lunges image from here)

Unrelated, Snooki is a mom? WTF is the world coming to y'all?

Crazy Cat Lady

There is a fine line between cute single girl and crazy cat lady (ahem, TPG--"I want it to say 'votes Democrat and listens to the Beastie Boys!'"), and I've worked really hard to not fall into the crazy cat lady territory of my house, which I promise I will show you soon--I just am in dire need of a dining table at the moment and because I am crazy type A, I cannot show you anything without it all being complete. Face. Palm.

ANYWAYS.

I'm now Crazy When I Convince Hugh To Marry Me Lady, aka, Let's Plan My Make Believe Wedding To A Celebrity, shall we? (y'all, I'm sorry, I don't have a lot going on unless you just want to me talk about how I laugh so hard I cry whenever I log onto Kate Middleton For The Win or Text From Dog. I mean, this is my life. I'd be depressed myself if it wasn't so comically sad)

Cearly, I'll wear this.

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Or, this.

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Ok, or this one.

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I will carry these...

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He will look like this...

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I  will walk down the aisle to the Brigadoon soundtrack (skip to 6:12)


There will be tartan of course, as my mama's family is a bunch of highland Scots.

I actually hate our family tartan, but, whatcha gon' do? (image from here)

We'll sing A Heart Full of Love of course. And I'm kind of hoping he can invite the entire past, present, future cast of Les Mis including the movie cast and the stage cast, for obvious (Colm Wilkinson, natch) and not so obvious reasons ("what kind of regatta starts at night?! The fake kind!") (oh goodness. I love my Ren).

Now, how to make this happen....

Oh, and Jeremy Kyle will be my ministainer. DUH.

Don't worry, I'm aware I'm mentally unstable. I'm looking into treatment ;)

But, it's laminated!

(I think we all understand the 'Friends' reference, yes? If you don't, please go ahead and Google it, don't worry, I'll wait.......Did you Google? Are you laughing? Welcome back.)

Anywhoodle, because I am an overgrown child, and well, my Hugh Jackman DVDs have gone missing, I figured we could be totally irreverent and discuss our "five".

(let's be honest, this is the big issue)

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Obviously, Hugh is number 1, 2, 3, 4 AND 5, but, in the off  chance that I run into someone else at Central Perk, I figured I best keep my options open.

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Honestly, how am I supposed to pick Five? I mean REALLY? (yes, I realize this is the dumbest post ever and I don't even care--judge all you want)

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My first love, my honest to goodness first love is Johnny Depp. 21 Jump Street, Gilbert Grape, all that. I have loved him forever. Seriously. I know he's not everyone's cup of tea, but, he is in fact mine.

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And, he's newly single, so, I mean, clearly I should move to the south of France and stalk him. Or something less creepy....

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Anyways.

Hugh. Johnny.

Next up, Colin Firth. OBVIOUSLY COLIN. Mr. Darcy, King George/Bertie--who doesn't love this man? I want to marry him--we all do.

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Keeping with the UK theme, need I say more:

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 Craig, Daniel Craig. 

Which brings us to the fifth. Obviously, it's Patrick Wilson. I know, I know, y'all thought it's be Gerard Butler, and let's call him an alternate, but, I like a man who can sing and dance, and we all know Mr. Wilson can do that--he's the American Hugh Jackman after all.

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And he married his college sweetheart, so, he's a giant romantic. GAH.

Oh, and, just because, they're so pretty.....
Simon. A surfer boy from Down Under. Clearly.

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And our Scot. Of course.

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So, uh, I have a type, eh? As Sarah says "Americans need not apply!", bahahaha.

Who's in your Five?