The Divine Ms. M

Today is a hard day.

Today is my mom's birthday.

And I thought I was handling it better than usual.

(I'm not)

The strangest thing, is that time goes on, it often gets harder--not easier, harder. Maybe because as more time passes, the more real it is; or that fact that more things happen in my life that I can't share with her. I don't exactly know.

And because I'm working on living a Joyful Life (even when my eyes are puffy and I freaking want to wail that I miss my Mommy!), today shall be a focus on my fabulous mother, or, the Divine Ms. M as she was known in her circle of uber cool friends.

I'm joyful because...

• My mother was an amazing cook
• Her laugh was infectious
• She wasn't afraid to be bold
• She taught me that accessories make the outfit
• That red nail polish and red lipstick will never go out of style (and in her honor, my toesies are painted red--first time in months that they haven't been naked!)
• She knew that family was the most important thing
• Her talent for photography was amazing and I am lucky enough to have a majority of her prints in my home
• She never met a stranger
• She taught me that you can and will shove your foot into a too small shoe if necessary (which she did repeatedly with my shoes--she big ol clodhoppers ruined many a shoe of mine)
• Her caring nature was unsurpassed
• Best.spritz.cookies.ever (my dad still has one single cookie in the freezer from the batch she and I made the day before she died)
• I inherited her toes (weird, I know)
• She could kill a container of Chinese takeout and mint chocolate chip ice cream with me any day of the week
• Best.Hot.Chocolate.Maker.Ever
• She always bought me a new mug for holidays--a big fancy soup mug--which often got used for hot chocolate or ice cream
• Her talent for writing was something she passed to me
• She taught me that the best cure for anything was a musical (sidenote: The Sound of Music was on ABC Family all weekend!)
• Playing dress up was always encouraged
• She taught me to appreciate different foods at an early age (um, how many kids do you know who eat shrimp? My babysitters always thought my mom was joking when she left them with a note regarding shrimp, beets and a dinner salad for me...complete with gummi worms, obvs)
• Her love of travel

She was an amazing woman. At the end of the day, I miss her terribly. There aren't words to describe how much I miss her, and nothing will ever replace her.

I was leaving the store yesterday and saw a mom and daughter walking out together--the daughter was probably mid 30s and it was just so sweet. You could tell they were mother and daughter. I got a little teary because I'll never have that--sure, I have fabulous in laws and a great step mom, but, it's just a connection that can't be replaced.

As much as I miss her, I know how lucky I was. Many people aren't blessed to have fabulous parents, some don't even know their mothers. The 19 short but wonderful years I had with her was better than many people will have over a lifetime--f0r that, I am joyful.

Thanks for indulging me in a walk down memory lane....