Today is my mom's birthday. She would have been 62. But a freakin' awesome 62, let me tell ya.
It's always a hard day for me. I can't believe that seven years ago was the last birthday I celebrated with her. It seems like just yesterday. And it seems like forever. Does that make sense?
I realize that I'm not unique in losing a parent--I mean, that's how it's supposed to work, right? Children outliving their parents is normal and all.
But, losing your mom in an earthquake, three days before Christmas when you're home from college for winter break has gotta mess with you in some way. And, it has. It does. It sucks. Let's just be real. Losing a parent--no matter how--totally sucks booty.
I wonder who she would be now. What kind of grandmother she'd be to my future children (although, I don't really have to wonder: she'd be the best grandma ever). I wonder if she would have made my wedding dress (she was a crazy good seamstress) and if I'd ever figure out how to make her oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I wonder what she'd think of my husband, and my house. If she and I would have taken my post college trip to Europe and if we'd still vacation in Tortola.
It's hard to believe I've lived almost 7 years without her. It's even harder to believe that I've got the rest of my life ahead of me without her.
She was my best friend. She was the person who loved me most on this earth. She was my mom.
I hope that I can share the experiences she and I had with my future daughter. I hope we'll spend days watching Little Women and making cookies. I hope we'll go to the museums in DC and spend the afternoon eating pizza on the Mall. I hope we'll vacation to the beach and make memories in the islands. I hope I learn how to sew and can hem her jeans. I hope I will be able to make the world's best oatmeal chocolate chip cookies too.
But mostly, I hope I'm the person she wanted me to be.
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About Me
- The Shabby Princess
- Redhead. Runner. Writer. Musical theater gal and opera gal. Lover of 80s hairbands and Broadway ballads, collecting Passport stamps and big sunglasses. I run a lot, I ramble a lot. I’m a London-obsessed, Anthropologie nut, chocoholic who loves Hugh Jackman and all things pink. Girly girl and beach bum at heart.
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25 comments:
I just want you to know that I love you. And not just like "oh you're pretty cool" kind of love. No. More like "I thank God everyday that I know you" kind of love.
I'm just so sorry that you've had to go through this. But I do know that your mama could not be more proud of the person you've become. Because you're amazing.
Ally,
You are the person your mom wanted you to be! She is so proud of you. There are so many poignant memories of your mom. You should write a book about her!
Kisses and hugs to you today from Aunt Suzi.
It sounds like you already are the person your mom would have wanted you to be.
I am so lucky to call you my friend. You are one of the most genuine, giving, loving, caring people I have ever met. Your mom is so proud.
I'm sure that your mom could not be more proud of who you are! Thinking of you today!
Oh shug. I'm thinking of you so much- this is a beautiful tribute.
This post is beautiful. I am thinking about you today!
I bet your Mom is looking down on you everyday! I hope I'm the Mom your Mom was to you to my Elly. XOXO
I love you honey. I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers today (and every day). xoxo
What a beautiful post! I'm certain that your mom is absolutely beaming with pride because of who you are today.
Also, if your mom ever runs into my dad up there, I hope they have a good laugh/smile about their awesome kiddos. :)
What a sweet post. I'm sure your mom would be very proud of you.
You are.
She is.
I love you.
So much.
This is so sweet! I'm sorry to hear about your mom I know it must be really tough. I'm sure she would be extremely proud of you!
You are all that and a bag of chips. She would be SO proud of you. Hell, I am and I haven't even met you in real life!
Sending hugs for your heart as you did for me - thinking of you.
What a wonderful daughter you are--I'm sure she is looking down proud as all get out. So sorry you've had to go through this.
You are so strong. Knowing the bond I have with my mom, I know how hard this must be.
My hubs lost his mom when he was a teen. He says you never get over it, but he says it helps to know she's proud of who he became. I bet your mom is proud too. Look at you! How couldn't she be?:)
I am so sorry for your loss. My mother died over 20 years ago, when I was six, and, as I am sure you know, every momentous event since then has always carried an element of sadness. I've never really questioned whether or not she would like the person I became, though. I know she would love me and be proud of me, and I know your mother would feel the same about you.
I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. I'm so sorry but you are a truly genuine and sweet person. I know your mom must be so proud.
Oh I don't even know how to respond to this. I understand, but I can't understand completely. I know exactly what you're saying, without knowing all the way.
I feel the exact same way about my mom. In fact, I think I wrote a really similar post about this a while back.
So sorry you have to have such a hard day. Anniversaries and birthdays suck so much, after.
So many hugs to you!
What a beautiful and touching post. Of course she is proud of the woman you've become!
I'm glad you have such wonderful memories of your mom. Hold tight to those moments. She is forever with you in your heart.
*Hugs*
This post brought tears to my eyes. I came very close to losing my dad last year, so I understand what it's like to have your world fall apart in an instant. It sounds like you have amazing memories with your mom, and she would without a doubt be proud of who you are.
Thinking of you and hoping today is better.
Oh my gosh, girl. This post brought me to tears. You are so beautiful, and your mom would be so proud of you. I wish I could find the right words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. 7 years is an eternity. But her presence is written all over your blog, it shows how much she's still a part of you. Thinking of you... ~Erin
Sending you big hugs, my sweet friend. I am so sorry. Your Mom would be so proud of you! Really! Thinking of you lots!! Xo
I agree, losing a parent is very hard. I am so sorry that your lost your mom right before Christmas. I lost my dad right before my wedding.
I have those same wonderings as you do: what would he think of me now? I wish I had some wisdom to impart. I don't really; I'm just hoping that it brings you some comfort to know that you aren't alone.
I'm so sorry I missed this day. Others have said this, but I have to agree - your mom would surely be so proud of you.
absolutely beautiful tribute to your mom. Just started reading your blog today and felt compelled to write to you when I saw this post.
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