I'm just sayin'

I'd be willing to make sure that Prince William is protected whilst at sea in the Caribbean.

I know the area well (right, Bri and Aubs?) and would be more than willing to show him the ropes. I'd also be willing to smuggle some conch fritters from Pussers (ohhh....lawdy, I am hungry) on board on HMS Iron Duke. I am just saying.

It would be a sacrifice, but, I'm sure I could handle it. As of course, to increase relations between the U.S and England.

So, Wills, I'm around. You have my number. I'm only a hop skip and jump from Tortola. Give me a ring should you need any assistance.

I'm also willing to chase down pirates and drug runners as well.

PS. Kate Middleton, don't worry. You're much prettier than me. Besides, we all know that Carl Philip is in love with me anyway.